Golfers always seem to have a great deal to say, but determining who said what and who said it first can be a problem.
In fact, it may turn out that a quote is often attributed to the wrong person. Regardless, quotes from golfers are always entertaining.
A few years back I talked to Tommy Bolt about an answer he is credited with giving to the question, “What is the toughest shot in golf, Tommy?” Bolt supposedly replied, “The one you’re trying to hit next.”
I asked Tom if indeed those were his words. His reply: “I have no idea. I say so many things, I really don’t know if I said that or not. I might have.”
One thing is sure, quotes are funny and interesting. For example, a golf writer once asked Bolt about his cursing on the course. Tommy’s reply: “I never cussed much, that’s bulls****.”
After scoring an unbelievable 13 on a par three, Ben Hogan was asked how that could happen. Ben, with a steely look, came back with, “Because I missed a 2-foot putt for a 12.”
Who said, “I’m at the twilight of a mediocre career”? Answer: Dr. Jerry Baker, a member of the Indiana State Teachers College men’s golf team that won the 1952 Indiana Collegiate Conference championship.
It was none other than Johnny Miller who declared, “Ninety-nine out of every 100 golfers grip their clubs too tightly.”
Billy Casper once offered this advice, “Try to think where you want to put the ball, not where you don’t want it to go.”
Who said this to Seve Ballestreros just before Seve won the 1979 U.S. Open? None other than Roberto DeVincenzo, who said, “You have the hands. Now play with the heart.”
Guess who did not make this statement, “As great as his talents are on the golf course, he is actually a better person.” These were not the words of Tiger Woods’ ex-wife; they were uttered by his father, Earl Woods.
Lloyd Mangrum, a star of yesteryear, once offered this observation: “That S.O.B. Bobby Locke was able to hole a 60-foot putt over peanut brittle.”
Frank Beard declared, “Everybody cheats when they start playing golf. A lot of people never stop.”
Who limped down a fairway after bashing his knee with a putter?
Answer: Ivan Gantz, who was overheard saying to himself, “I told you what would happen if you missed another short putt.”
Who said, “I’ll either give you shots or let you cheat, but you can’t do both.” Actually this writer used the original line on the eighth hole at Elks Fort Harrison golf course some 15 years ago.
When discussing long-ball hitters, Terre Haute native Bill Neff was fond of saying, “The woods are full of long hitters.”
When asked to join the temperance movement, the great English golfer Harry Vardon replied, “Moderation is essential in all things, madam, but never in my life have I been beat by a teetotaler.”
Golf stories are endless.
It seems that none other than Kenny Bosc has won the Generous to a Fault Award for 2011. It seems that Frank Perry requested a few shots for a side bet. Perry was happy when Bosc offered him 10 strokes.
When the round ended, it seems Perry had won the match without the help of a single stroke. Bosc accepted the loss and came back with an even-par round the following day.
Bosc’s prize for his Generous to a Fault Award is a copy of the book, “How to Bet Smart,” written by Jean Van Devalve.
Kudos are in order for Rich Schelsky for his win in the hotly contested WTHI TV Men’s City Golf Tourney. Congrats are also in order for Ryan Roscoe for running an excellent tournament.
Roscoe took the reins of the Terre Haute Golf Association after Chris Keen had so ably led the THGA for two years. The THGA is one of the best golf organizations you’ll find anywhere.
Billy “Bum” Alumbaugh was obviously “off his game” when he shot a “fat” 92 in the opening round of the recent Spaghetti Open.
This writer can recall Alumbaugh winning medalist honors in this tourney a couple of decades ago with a round of 68.
With the 10-percent rule in effect, Bill needed only to two-putt from 15 feet to win his flight and claim a $175 gift certificate.
Instead Alumbaugh lined up his 15-footer and knocked it squarely into the cup. This violated the 10-percent rule and Bum was relegated to last place.
Although his winnings were “zilch,” this scenario makes Bill look like a totally honest player.
If you top the ball, you are coming “up” on your shot. You may be coming up on your toes, straightening your knees or pulling your shoulders back. The head usually gets the blame for all topped shots, but most of the time the blame lies elsewhere.
Keep your head down and your shoestrings tied. We’ll be back.
Bob Arnett can be reached by e-mail at subob@aol.com.
Rub of the Green
RUB OF THE GREEN: Loquacious golfers can provide priceless quotes
- Rub of the Green
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Rub of the Green: Bowling or golf? Both provide plenty of challenge
The question has been raised in the past, is it bowling or golf that is the more difficult endeavor?
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Sometimes this can be a confounding game
To be sure, the great Sam Snead certainly knew what he was talking about when he delivered his favorite axiom, “The sun don’t shine on the same dog every day.”
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Grayless takes over as golf professional at Hulman Links
Ed Grayless has assumed the “head man’s” position at the Links after Ryan Klopfenstein resigned as Hulman Links golf professional in order to pursue other interests.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Young players should match course to skills
One of the biggest mistakes a beginning golfer can make is to keep playing a golf course that is far too difficult for the ability demonstrated by that player.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: On the lanes or links, Davis is competitive
Darrell Davis carries a 240 bowling average which obviously puts him in some strong company on the alleys, but he feels that golf is a much more difficult sport than keggling.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Loquacious golfers can provide priceless quotes
Golfers always seem to have a great deal to say, but determining who said what and who said it first can be a problem.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Rick Fernandes can look back on a great golf career
What does an outstanding golfer have left when an accident has robbed him of the consummate skills he once possessed? The answer most assuredly would be one word, “Memories.”
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Feherty’s humor good for golf
David Feherty is an extremely funny man. If you have read his book written a few years ago, you might have guessed what to expect from him. The book, entitled “Somewhere in Ireland a Village is Missing an Idiot,” set the stage for his far out brand of humor, most of which is directed at himself.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: It's all in your head
A pair of divot diggers had been discussing their favorite sport when one could be heard saying, “You know, I think this game is 90 percent mental.” After a short pause his friend replied, “Well, I think you’re about 10 percent short in your estimation.”
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Golf: ‘The Game You Love to Hate’
Golf has been called “The Game You Love to Hate.” In addition, love-hate relationships have been around since the beginning of time.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Golf is only sport that offers both hilarity, pathos
It’s been stated more than once that “golf is a microcosm for life itself.”
This writer would heartily agree. No sport or game can offer combinations of happiness and sadness, hilarity and pathos as evidenced by an activity called “cow pasture pool” by some of its practitioners. -
RUB OF THE GREEN: Even golfers say there is drug problem on Tour
Are professional golfers using performance-enhancing drugs? This writer wouldn’t have the foggiest, but if you asked Gary Player, one of the game’s greatest, the answer would be a resounding, “Yes.”
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Not all golfers display their trophies
Back in the “old days,” let’s say the 1940s, most of the time when you won something in a golf tournament your prize came in the form of a trophy. That was it, just a dust catcher. Later, merchandise prizes were added.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Golf full of colorful characters
Every sport has its own cast of characters and golf is definitely no exception. Whether it is diving head first into a greenside bunker or tying an unreliable putter to a car’s bumper and dragging it down the road, golfers can do some strange things.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Winter made golf impossible this year
Old Man Winter along with Mother Nature must have something against area golfers. They have joined forces to sabotage a sport called winter golf, an activity many Wabash Valley players have enjoyed in years gone by.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Golf instruction a strenuous art
Few who have ever tried their hands at playing the game of golf would describe the sport as “easy”. In fact, just the opposite would be the case.
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BOB ARNETT: No matter what your level, watch out for pressure
What is the affliction that can affect most any golfer from those who can’t break an egg to skilled golfers who can break 70?
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RUB OF THE GREEN: THGA tournaments include variety, long history
In days gone by, the Terre Haute Golf Association has always offered more than just a 72-hole stroke play tournament.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: PGA playoff system still needs work
Is anyone fed up with the convoluted Fed Ex playoffs? The PGA has been tweaking its so-called Fed Ex playoff system for years, and they never seem to get it right.
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Rub of the Green: Golf can be roller coaster for young pros
Dustin Johnson may be best remembered for his appearances in the major tournaments in 2010, but not because he won. He didn’t win. But he came awfully close.
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Rub of the Green: One size does NOT fit all when it comes to golfing ability
Literally hundreds of books have been written on the subject of golf instruction, and we can be certain they all agree on one fundamental, always keep your head stationary throughout the swing.
Right? Nope, wrong as it could be! How’s that, you say? As examples both David Duval and Annika Sorenstam at one time were rated the world’s No. 1 professional golfers, respectively, and both swiveled their heads well before their clubheads reached the impact zone. In fact, Duval is one of a select few who has a 59 to his credit on the PGA Tour. -
Rub of the Green: Gerstmeyer Tech’s reknown Les Brown made his mark in plethora of sports
Les Brown never had a middle name, not even a middle initial. What he did have was an abundance of athletic ability that he utilized to earn letters in five different sports during his senior year at Gerstmeyer Technical High School.
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Rub of the Green: An inspiring walk of 1,000 miles
Watching the young man on the TV screen move from place to place was like watching the human body battle itself. It seemed as though his arms and legs each wanted to go in separate directions, as he flailed about with only a cane to steady himself.
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Rub of the Green: From fundraiser to reunited, game of golf wears many different ‘hats’
The game of golf can take on many different characteristics, depending on the objectives of those sponsoring the events. Golf may be played as a tribute or a memorial to the deceased. It may be a time of camaraderie that unites old friends.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Excursions are a tradition for many Terre Haute golfers
Many divot diggers enjoy excursions to play golf courses that offer new and different challenges. Terre Haute can certainly testify to the truth of that with some groups having hit the road for many decades.
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Rub of the Green: Was 1960 really the ‘Greatest Year in Golf’?
Listening to Willie Nelson warble the lyrics, “Ain’t it funny how time slips away?” reminds this writer that those words are incorrect on two counts. One, it is not funny to get old. The late Bob Bundy often stated, “Old age is not for sissies.” And two, time doesn’t just slip away, it tends to streak on at a full gallop. At least, that’s the felling you get when you qualify for the Methuselah Flight of your club championship.
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Rub of the Green: Basketball coaching legend Wooden could hold his own on golf course
The name John Wooden doesn’t just “ring a bell” with Indiana basketball aficionados; it resounds like a canon shot. No doubt about it, John Wooden is someone special, and that is a gross understatement.
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RUB OF THE GREEN: Can Tiger Woods successfully make over his me-first image?
“Pain, despair and agony on me” are the words of a comical song made popular on an old TV program titled “Hee-Haw.” The refrain might have been heard again if you had occasion to drive by the Tiger Woods residence in the gated community of Isleworth, Fla., as the 2009 Thanksgiving holiday wound down, but this time no one was laughing.
- Rub of the Green: Course architect Pete Dye has had lasting impression on game It would seem that the more you learn about Pete Dye, the golf course architect, the more there is to admire about the man. It was decades ago when Dye determined that the insurance business was not for him, and he decided to begin designing golf courses. Even Pete, himself, in all likelihood, couldn’t have known the impact he was going to make on the golf world.
- RUB OF THE GREEN: French Lick course a treasure With pristine fairways, greens and bunkers providing a colorful patchwork, the course provides onlookers with the opportunity to witness some of the best experiences Mother Nature can provide.
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