TERRE HAUTE —
If Mark Souder is capable of sexual misconduct, it could happen to anyone.
— Penny Nance, Concerned Women of America.
Actually, no, it can’t happen to anyone.
Sexual misconduct — a.k.a. cheating on your wife for several years with a woman who is cheating on her husband — is not something that “happens” to a person.
Catching a cold happens to you. Being broadsided by a texting driver happens to you. Getting food poisoning in a 5-star restaurant happens to you. Discovering that your husband — the one who makes speeches about God, family values and the virtues of sexual abstinence — is a cheater? That also happens to you.
But cheating requires a transitive and active verb. Cheating is predicated on a conscious choice and action. Each and every time an adulterous assignation is made, kept and not revealed, deliberate choices are made.
Penny Nance, the CEO of the conservative Concerned Women for America, was not alone in her misuse of verbs when she talked to the Indy Star about the resignation of U.S. Rep. Mark Souder. The 3rd District Indiana Congressman has had trouble, himself, articulating what happened versus what he consciously chose to do on his own.
From the get-go of his May 18 news confessional in Fort Wayne, Souder seemed disinclined to use the active voice. Ten sentences into his resignation speech — half way — he finally got around to saying he’d done something wrong: “I sinned against God, my wife and my family by having a mutual relationship with a part-time member of my staff.”
No “extramarital affair” or “infidelity” for Souder. Typical of the tone of his entire statement, he euphemized his sin into “a mutual relationship.” Worse, the revelation was preceded by a fair amount of self-aggrandizement, including the declaration that the “honor” of his eight terms in Congress was “a blessing and a responsibility given from God.”
That should come as a surprise to the voters of the 3rd District who wrote campaign checks and showed up at the polls to send Souder to Washington all those years. If they’d known God had stacked the deck, they could have stayed home or funneled their contributions elsewhere.
Souder’s admission also was preceded by whining that teetered on victim-speak. Of his part in “the battle for freedom and the values we share,” the GOP representative lamented, “It has been all consuming for me to do this job well, especially in a district with costly, competitive elections every two years, I do not have any sort of ‘normal’ life — for family, for friends, for church, for community.”
News flash for Souder: Most Indiana districts are competitive and costly for those who want to represent one in Congress. Likewise, nobody in the House or Senate has a “normal” life. After 16 years, Souder knows that. Mentioning both as he inched closer to confessing his infidelity, indicates he considers them mitigating evidence for his behavior, which they most surely are not.
All of that, however, was just a warm-up for the blame-shifting, full-blown victim-speak that Souder employed in the second-half of his statement.
“In the poisonous environment of Washington, D.C., any personal failing is seized upon, often twisted, for political gain,” he said. “I am resigning rather than to put my family through that painful, drawn-out process.”
Wrong voice again.
The poisonous atmosphere of Washington did not cause adultery to happen to Souder and his girlfriend, Tracey Meadows Jackson. Souder did not choose to resign because Washington’s partisan politics seize upon and twist any personal failing. Like South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (who doesn’t live in Washington), Souder chose to resign because the options are few when somebody squeals on a holier-than-thou, family-values zealot and outs him as a cheating, lying, hypocritical politician.
Sanford dragged it out. Souder didn’t. Does the latter deserve a gold star? Both men’s choice to preach one path and follow another caused the major damage to their families. Anything after merely dictates how long the wrong-doer stays in the floodlights.
Even when Souder did manage some active voice and transitive verbs in his statement, he neutralized them. Noting that he is “sick of politicians who drag their spouses up in front of the cameras rather than confront the problem they caused,” he then shaved the edges off by insisting that his family had been more than willing to stand with him.
After finally uttering “… the error is mine and I should bear the responsibility … I am so ashamed to have hurt those I love. I am so sorry to have let so many friends down …” Souder couldn’t keep the whiner and braggart quiet: “By stepping aside, my mistake cannot be used as a political football in a partisan attempt to undermine the cause for which I have labored all my adult life.”
Oh, please. A family-values proponent is immortalized on video discussing the wonderfulness of sexual abstinence with his extramarital lover. Nobody needs a football. The game is over.
Souder insisted his cause is “greater than individuals. It is based upon eternal truths” and values that are “just and right.” In fact, “America will survive and thrive when anchored in those values.”
Like so many fallen “values” politicians, Souder felt compelled to say he is comforted because “God is a gracious and forgiving God to those who sincerely seek his forgiveness as I do.”
Thanks for sharing. If people seeking political office concentrated more on practicing their faith than on trumpeting it, their relationship with God might remain as it should, close and deeply personal. When they stumble, it might not be so clumsily nor their fall so hard.
Souder finished by reciting his plans: To focus “upon repairing my marriage, earning back the trust of my family and my community, and renewing my walk with the Lord.” And he made a request.
“I humbly ask you,” he said to the gathered news media, “for the sake of my family, that you respect our privacy in this difficult time.”
Note the subtle transfer of responsibility, once again. Ask the disgraced Congressman to address his fundamental dishonesty and years of hypocrisy, demand something more than self-serving, blame-gaming clichés, and you — not he — will be guilty of disrespecting his family.
That final request reveals a man who, obviously, needs a lot of training to get in shape for a renewed walk with the Lord.
Stephanie Salter can be reached at (812) 231-4229 or stephanie.salter@tribstar.com.
Opinion
Stephanie Salter: God helps those who make simple, declarative confessions
- Opinion
-
-
EDITORIAL: A timely call-out of NSA critics
As if it couldn’t get worse, politicians in Washington have again tied themselves in knots.
Yes, we know. What else is new? -
READERS' FORUM: June 19, 2013
• Nutrition info falling short
-
RONN MOTT: Why Syria?
Russia is making a lot of noise in favor of Syria. They are supplying Assad’s army with more armaments and basic things such as ammunition and such.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Another beloved dog goes to heaven
We are short one granddog. This past week, “Indy” could no longer use her back legs and she went to that great dog kennel in the hereafter.
-
READERS’ FORUM: June 18, 2013
• Beware those who follow Ayn Rand
• Poor excuse for gas price hikes
-
MAX JONES: For loyal readers, a bit of news from the T-S newsroom
As journalists toiling to create a content-rich, relevant and compelling community newspaper each day, we feel a special bond with our legions of readers across the Wabash Valley and beyond.
-
GUEST COLUMN: One Million Bones exhibit meant to raise awareness, inspire action to end genocide
The National Mall: A grassy corridor in Washington, D.C., lined with America’s greatest museums and monuments.
Ending at the U.S. Capitol building, it is a symbol of our belief in the power and greatness of America. Last weekend, we turned it into a mass grave.
-
EDITORIAL: Insisting on ISTEP quality lawmakers’ primary duty
Now that everyone, on both sides of the aisle, seems backslappingly happy to agree that this spring’s ISTEP school testing debacle was unacceptable, that at least some of the results lack credibility and that the issue carries high-stakes significance, what next?
-
The Obama Debate: Is he a liar or incompetent?
I read the letters on the opinion page daily and I find an unusual silence from your liberal progressive contributors lately. Could it be because they don’t have anything to expound upon? Well, maybe I can give them some material.
-
A Fathers Day Tribute: Transition — from child to father
Transition seems like a big word to use as his story unfolds. Transition was probably never used in conjunction with speech, his speech, but it demonstrates his life, as it does in many lives lived in his generation.
-
READERS' FORUM: June 16, 2013
Horrible crime cries out for stern justice
Confused about groups’ merger
Global warming fraud exposed
-
The Obama Debate: President has served us well
I have not heard a positive thing by those in this area about this president since his 2008 election and 2009 inauguration. Why this manifestation, I just can’t understand.
-
RONN MOTT: Not hurried a bit by 21st century tech
Unlike so many of you, I do not get up in the morning and run to turn on my computer. In fact, if you need to reach me in a hurry, I would say that 19th century invention of Alexander Bell’s would be the best way. If you do email me or use some other electronic convenience, better give it a couple of days because I am not in that big of a hurry.
-
READERS' FORUM: June 15, 2013
America needs another hero
-
EDITORIAL: And now we wait for justice
It is a word we would rather never have on our front page — homicide. That we had to use it twice on Wednesday’s front page is sad, but unavoidable.
-
READERS' FORUM: June 14, 2013
Mott statements contradict history
Display the flag
-
RONN MOTT: Kill the Umpire!
I don’t know who appointed Major League Baseball’s umpires “Gods,” but if they have been appointed “Gods,” they have appointed people who cannot see or think very well.
-
READERS' FORUM: June 13, 2013
Bad odor from gas prices
Build personal library
Morning after? No worries
-
EDITORIAL: Remembering Sister Jeanne
Terre Haute is mourning the loss this week of an accomplished and beloved community activist and leader whose life’s work is an inspiration to all who strive to serve.
-
EDITORIAL: Embrace the value of traffic planning
Never underestimate the value of a good plan to deal with a crisis, large or small, even if the final analysis of the management of a specific crisis is, “It could have been worse.”
-
READERS' FORUM: June 12, 2013
Like it or not, change coming
-
RONN MOTT: What’s happening?
I know I may have looked at these situations differently when I was in my twenties. The world, my life, my career, and the growth of my family all lay ahead of me. So perhaps now, many years later, I see it differently.
-
READERS’ FORUM: June 11, 2013
• Great support for local cause
• Another idea on housing issue
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Withdrawn society not very social any more
My Best Friend and I went out for lunch the other day. It was a sit-down place with our own “server” (in my day I was called “a waitress”) and everything offering personal attention. The manager even came over to ask if everything was all right.
-
READERS’ FORUM: June 10, 2013
• What is the cost of our austerity?
• Vintage campers to gather at rally
• Seek a healthy food alternative
-
EDITORIAL: It’s time to assess ISTEP
Later this month, the company behind this spring’s abysmal online administration of ISTEP testing for 27,000 Hoosier schoolchildren is being called to the principal’s office.
-
Readers’ Forum: June 9, 2013
• Taking time to help the world
• Reform by politics will not improve education
• Questions from a wondering mind
-
FLASHPOINT: Storm chasers must heed warnings, remember why we chase storms
The tragic death of noted weather researcher and former Discovery Channel storm chaser Tim Samaras has shaken all of us in the meteorological community.
-
Will you be happy if you win the lottery?
A Psychology Today article titled “What Will You Do if You Win the $550 Million Powerball Lottery?” caught my attention. Helping lottery winners with their money is my long-time gig.
-
RONN MOTT: The ‘wilds’ of Collett Park
- More Opinion Headlines
-
EDITORIAL: A timely call-out of NSA critics
Ohio Woman Accuses 3 of Holding Her Captive
Hunt for Ex-Teamster Boss Hoffa's Remains Ends
Time Lapse: Rebuilding Bridge Post-collapse
Fans Cheer Dramatic Heat Comeback
Tiger on Sergio: 'It's Time to Move On'
Car Crash in NYC's East Village Injures 8
Raw: NASCAR Driver Jason Leffler Dies in Wreck
Robot Action Connected to Human Thought
Aug. Trial Set for Ohio Man in Triple Kidnapping
Ex-NFL Star Chad Johnson Out of Jail
Raw: Baby White Rhino Debuts at Australian Zoo
Failed Cuba-to-Florida Swimmer Won't Try Again
Rain Damages Brazil Soccer Stadium
Unusual Heat Wave Bakes Alaska
James Gandolfini Dies at Age 51
Raw: Massive Protests Fill Brazilian Streets
Raw: Volcano Erupts Near Mexico City
Raw: Heat, Spurs Back on Court Ahead of Game 7
Obama Renews Call for Nuclear Reductions
Fmr. TWA Flight 800 Investigators Want New Probe
Paula Deen Admits to Using N Word
Rihanna Hits Fan With Microphone
Men's Wearhouse Founder Fired
Miss Utah Explains Rambling Response
Exclusive: Locklear & Seymour Lock Lips
Miami Heat Wins in Overtime
Raw: Arizona Wildfire Scorches 8 Square Miles
Fists, chairs fly in restaurant brawl
Journalist Michael Hastings Dies in Fiery Hollywood Crash
Hairy Leg Stockings Aim to Deflect Male Attention
Inside Kim Kardashian's Premature Labor
Three Charged for Enslaving Mother and Daughter
Raw: Huge Fire Near Yosemite National Park
Spurs' Popovich has no problem with Spurs' intensity
RAW: NSA Director Says 50 Plots Foiled
Paige Butcher Scorches on Hawaii Beach
Video: worst way to load cargo onto a plane
Never-before-seen footage of '08 Times Square bomber
