My 7-year-old nephew, Carson, came to visit us last week. That in itself isn’t earth-shattering news, for he often drops by with one of his parents or the other, the last time dressed as a ghoul for Halloween. But for a couple like Joanie and me, whose youngest child is now nearly two decades past Carson’s age, having a little guy like him in the house, even for a few hours, takes a bit of adjusting.
My wife and I are “empty-nesters” in only the technical sense of the phrase. We loved having our kids at home with us, even encouraged them to stay an extra year or two on our dole while they finished up college. But, for most part, we’re too busy, and too happy, I think, to still be pining about the good old days when we were wiping jelly-smeared faces, tying shoestrings, and telling our kids to blow harder. There’s little doubt that we’d love to do that all over again if we could, but Carson also reminded us that night that it takes a lot of energy and a lot of effort to raise an active little guy like he is.
He may very well be our “grandparent-in-waiting training,” so perhaps we had better have him over again soon.
My sister-in-law and Carson had to shout to get my attention as they caught me blasting leaves over my back hillside with a noisy power blower near dark that evening. I remembered that Joanie had told me that he was going to be with us a couple of hours, but only when I saw him with a box of plastic soldiers in his hands did I realize that it was the appointed day and time. Joanie wasn’t home from work yet, and since the sun was already giving up the ghost for the day, I told his mom to have him go on in the house while I cleaned up my tools and knocked the mud off my boots.
It was just a minute or two later, as I washed my dirty hands at our hydrant, that I realized that we no longer had child-safety locks on our cabinets, that my prescription medicine was on the kitchen counter, and that we had several bottles of drain cleaners and other nasty toxins on the shelves under our kitchen sink. I couldn’t remember at what time we no longer had to worry about our kids getting into such hazards, so I wiped my wet paws on my jeans, threw my leaf blower in the barn, and headed inside, certain that Carson was already sticking fork tines into electrical outlets, or fiddling with the switch box, or guzzling furniture polish.
I found him, sitting in a chair, petting our cat, Edgar (Carson refers to him as “Egger”), the television blank, the house slightly dark and a bit cold, since I’d not bothered to turn on lights and adjust the thermostat when I came home. No blaring cartoons, no toxic cocktails, no matches, no tipping over the aquarium; Carson was just sitting in the chair, wiggling his feet and very much minding his own business.
Because I was nearly out of gasoline for my mowers, I told him that we could climb into the truck and head to town for refills. Surely, riding in my pickup, operating the gas pump, and watching men spit at the local station would be a hoot for a 7-year-old boy. Backing out of the drive and heading south toward town reminded me so much of doing the same thing a thousand times with my son or daughter in the seat next to me. We chatted about this and that, Carson responding to my questions with shrugs and rolled eyes and “I don’t knows.” Twenty bucks worth of unleaded and two spittle-laced howdys from those going in and coming out the station door later, and Carson and I were pulling into the drive to see that Joanie had the house lit and warming.
Joanie kept Carson company for a while because I had a shower to take and two piles of school papers to tackle, but once those chores were dispensed of, we all sat around the supper table together, said our prayer, and filled our plates. Carson was not a big fan of the turkey and gravy and mashed potatoes that Joanie had prepared for us, but he gave two thumbs up to a microwaved hot dog left over from my last dalliance with our gas grill. He wasn’t enamored with our corn and green beans either, but he did eventually want the potatoes, that is as long as he could use our pepper grinder to spice things up. Carson is a big fan of pepper. In fact, I began to wonder if there were potatoes under his pepper.
When Joanie asked him what he had his eye on for Christmas, Carson surprised us by saying he wanted, “Dominoes, Dominoes, and more Dominoes!” He didn’t know that Dominoes constituted an actual game; he wants to set them, on end, one after another, then tip them over “like the guy on ‘America’s Got Talent.’” I had to admit, that does sound fun.
I don’t know if it was that question, or if he was high on pepper, or the fact that Carson’s energy level picked up at about the same time mine was drooping, but from that point on, we got along famously. It had been years since I had a 7-year-old boy to pal around with — the last time I was with my son we both used chainsaws. But I keep a lot of things in my house that are of a natural interest to little guys: ball gloves and books and rocks and pictures and pocket knives, and Carson managed to ask me a question about almost every one of them. In particular, he liked a piece of purple quartz that I keep on my desk with other odds and ends. He likes the fossils and arrowheads and bits of driftwood and feathers I leave around my place, but that quartz, and then a tall jar of white, milky pieces, really caught his eye. I told him that he could have a piece of the quartz, and after fingering through no less than 50 specimens, he selected one for himself.
“I want to go out and see your cabin,” Carson told me, the quartz in hand (his mom told me he slept with it a few nights), so since Joanie was still nearly knee-deep in dishes, and we’ve never used television as a baby sitter, we headed out the back door.
Carson is an interesting, and interested little guy. He wanted to see copies of the books I’d written, wanted to know who the people who stared back at him through picture frames and from beneath the glass on my writing table were. He thought the warm air from my heater “felt good” on his hands, and he asked questions, a lot of questions: “Where’d you get that fish? Does that old radio work? What is your favorite book? “Do you ever sleep out here?” In all, we stayed well over an hour, Carson telling me that of all the books I had on my shelves he wanted to have one in particular, an old Alistair MacLean thriller, which I’ll give to him when he’s old enough to read it.
When we got back to the house, I thought I could convince Carson to play some kind of game that required us to sit in a recliner and shut our eyes. Instead, he headed to the quartz jar and told me, “I think I like another piece in there better.” I told him he should just flip a coin to make the decision as to which piece he liked best. After one flip of the dime (he found me to be an expert flipper, so I was involved), he thought three tosses would be better, then five, then seven. … Sixty-four flips later, he chose the piece he took out of the jar the first time.
By the time Carson left a little later, still energetic, still full of questions, I was ready for a good book and a warm bed. I waved goodbye as he headed out the door to the car, and I told him to come back anytime.
I think I need to double up on my vitamins first, though.
Mike Lunsford can be reached by email at hickory913@aol.com, or c/o the Tribune-Star at PO Box 149, Terre Haute, IN 47808. You can learn more about his writing by going to his website at www.mikelunsford.com. He is currently working on his fourth book.
News Columns
Related Photos
-
Tribune-Star columnist Mike Lunsford
Discussion
MIKE LUNSFORD: Little man who came to dinner changes feel of household
- News Columns
-
-
MIKE LUNSFORD: Remembering Mom a day after Mother’s Day
I don’t think there has been a day in the last eight years that I haven’t thought of my mom. Being all grown up with wrinkles to call my own doesn’t make me miss my parents any less.
-
MARK BENNETT: After running for 28 hours straight, what’s another 5 miles?
Some phrases can only be uttered by a few people, or none at all.
-
MARK BENNETT: Glitches show limitations of high-stakes testing concept
The dog ate my homework. That age-old excuse — based on a shockingly unforeseen complication — rarely works for a kid who didn’t finish yesterday’s math assignment. Yet, in a role reversal, Indiana school children, along with their teachers and administrators, are left to accept an explanation for a disruption best described as the mother of all ironies.
-
MARK BENNETT: One step at a time to save lives
Joan Brown.
Remember that name. -
MARK BENNETT: Sometimes, the mere posing of questions is significant
The era seems quaint now, almost like a fable. When people left their house doors unlocked. When the sight of a police officer in a school meant it was Career Day.
-
MIKE LUNSFORD: ‘Dowsers’ provide hope more than science
My grandfather was a man of God. Many times I saw him, his right hand held high in the air at his Wednesday night “prayer meeting,” praising the Lord before weeping at the altar on his knees. And yet, he was a “dowser,” a “diviner,” a “witcher” who, as a favor, would grab a forked sassafras stick and find water for some poor unfortunate whose well had gone dry.
-
MARK BENNETT: New reality steers Nashville singer to Crossroads for Historical Society concert
People pass through the Crossroads of America for lots of reasons.
Business trips. College campus events. Federal prison sentences. Visits with relatives. Gas pitstops.
Or maybe a career change and a twist of fate.
Ty Brown makes his first stop in downtown Terre Haute as the headliner of a multi-band Sweet Sensations Country Jam concert May 4 in the Ohio Building — a fundraiser for the Vigo County Historical Society. -
HAYDEN: 9-year-old lobbyist weighs in on school safety
Senate Bill 1 shot to the forefront last week, after it was amended by the House education committee with a provision that mandates every public school in Indiana would be required to have someone on staff armed with a loaded gun during school hours.
-
HAYDEN: Republican shift proving to be real
When a federal judge struck down key provisions of the state’s immigration law last week, it seemed anticlimactic.
-
LUNSFORD: A different kind of resurrection story, no foolin’
If you’ve had pets in your family long enough, it’s likely that you’ll see a miracle or two — a dog that couldn’t possibly have lived, but did; a cat that grew to 20 pounds after being born the runt of the litter; a goldfish that had been belly-up too many times to believe it could have survived another day.
-
STATE OF THE STATEHOUSE: Americans of Hispanic heritage becoming active in Republican party
When Republicans in the Indiana General Assembly decided earlier this year to put off a vote on locking the state’s same-sex marriage ban into the state constitution, it sent a signal that GOP leaders were evolving on the issue of marriage equality.
-
MARK BENNETT: Terre Haute barber ‘sharpens up’ customers for 50 years
People streamed through this section of downtown Terre Haute in those days.
“You could hardly walk by here,” John Hochhalter said, pointing toward the sidewalk outside the window.
The bustle has faded since the early 1960s. Hochhalter remains. He’s still barbering in the same shop he and late business partner Kenny Thomas opened a half-century ago this week. -
MIKE LUNSFORD: As of today, it’s unofficially spring
Despite the calendar telling us not to rush things, I think it is all right to go ahead and say spring is here. The Ides of March has passed, Easter is coming soon, and I have already been out in my yard with a rake, getting my boots muddy. It looks like spring to me.
-
Americans for Prosperity aim to browbeat GOP lawmakers
If you're outside the Indianapolis TV market, you may not have seen yet the Americans for Prosperity ad that demonizes the House Republicans for resisting Republican Gov. Mike Pence's tax cut plan.
-
MAUREEN HAYDEN: Pence may find himself in a mess if he gets what he wants
Here’s a story to consider: A Republican governor with ties to the tea party and possible presidential ambitions decides he wants to slash the state’s income tax rate, but meets with massive resistance from legislative leaders from his own party.
Sounds like the scenario playing out in the Indiana Statehouse, right? -
MARK BENNETT: Reflections of grid success stir with Brent Anderson’s passing
A few hundred miles away, and nearly 40 years gone by, a special game ball still occupies a fond place in Rudy Bohinc’s memories.
-
MIKE LUNSFORD: If handwriting is a window to my soul, I’m glad this is typewritten…
Somewhere in the mess I call my “archives,” I have most of my grade school report cards hidden away. I have kept them under wraps, because I want to be long gone when my children — or grandchildren — unearth them and discover that their self-righteous teacher of a dad was, in fact, a terrible student in his formative years.
-
MAUREEN HAYDEN: Are legislators gambling with the future of gaming?
Indiana lawmakers have been debating whether to give the state’s casinos more financial incentives to compete with the shiny new gambling palaces popping up in Ohio.
-
MARK BENNETT: Never truer: Knowledge vital to narrowing ‘skills gap’
The pillar at the gates of Faber College in the movie “Animal House” bore a wise motto, despite its tongue-in-cheek intent …
-
STATE OF THE STATEHOUSE: Pot decriminalization bill dead, but reduced-punishment aspect still alive
In the flurry of activity at the Statehouse in recent weeks, I missed reporting some sad news for stoners: The legislation to decriminalize marijuana is dead.
-
MARK BENNETT: Great-niece to re-enact Paul Dresser’s musical legacy in Terre Haute show
People can be forgotten. Their lives end, time passes and memories fade.
Often, the only keepers of their legacies are family and friends, who tell and retell their stories, generation to generation.
For Paul Dresser, his fame burned strong enough as a turn-of-the-century, million-seller songwriter to preserve bits of his public notoriety. -
MIKE LUNSFORD: The ‘lovely gift’ of a beech tree …
This is not the season that I usually write of trees, for besides a few pin oaks that hang on to the most stubborn of leaves, my woods stand bare and dormant and cold right now. My trees are patiently awaiting the green of spring that I feel, for some reason, is to arrive a little earlier this year than is usual.
-
STATE OF THE STATEHOUSE: What to do with that $2 billion sitting around
We Hoosiers like to think of ourselves as special, but when it comes to the current debate in the Indiana Statehouse over the budget, we’re a lot like other states: Grappling with some post-recession questions about how to balance spending and taxes.
-
MARK BENNETT: An Olympic takedown
Imagine an iconic image of American sports history erased.
-
STATE OF THE STATEHOUSE: Pence sticks to his ‘Roadmap’
As a U.S. congressman, Mike Pence made it perfectly clear how he felt about the need for a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.
-
MARK BENNETT: Indiana’s ‘skills gap’
A problem lasting decades ceases to be a “problem.” By then, the situation becomes “part of the culture.”
-
MIKE LUNSFORD: Twain’s Sawyer helps us yearn for ‘wilderness of childhood’
My cousin, Roger, stopped in one day last summer for a glass of tea and a little conversation. Rog has lived an hour’s drive away for years and now, and besides summer reunions, I don’t see him nearly often enough. He’s a good man who has raised a good family, and he owns a healthy sense of appreciation for not only the life he has now, but also the lives we had years ago as kids.
-
STATE OF THE STATEHOUSE:Supreme Court providing convenient cover for GOP
If GOP leaders in the Indiana General Assembly announce this week, as expected, that they’re postponing a vote on a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages and civil unions, you can expect them to cite the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to step into the larger issue later this year as the primary reason.
-
MARK BENNETT: America’s best quality of life? Indiana must address flaws, set priorities
Just as the job interview seems smooth, the interviewer drops the question.
“So, where do you see yourself in five years?” -
MARK BENNETT: Pondering what is meant by ‘quality of life’ to Hoosiers
Sometimes it’s sincere. Other times, it’s sarcasm.
You cross paths with a friend, ask how they’re doing, and they say, “Ah, just livin’ the dream.”
Livin’ the dream. What exactly does that involve? Can it be defined? - More News Columns Headlines
-
MIKE LUNSFORD: Remembering Mom a day after Mother’s Day
Raw: Massive Funnel Clouds in Oklahoma
Raw: Widespread Destruction in Moore, Okla.
Raw: Rescue Workers Search Oklahoma School
Raw: Tornado on the Ground in Oklahoma
Raw: Aftermath of Massive Tornado in Oklahoma
Active Search for Utah Missing Mom Ends
Huge Tornado Kills Dozens Near Oklahoma City
Voters Could Elect LA's First Female Mayor
Raw: Aerials Show Path of Oklahoma Destruction
Raw: Rescuers Pull Tornado Survivors to Safety
Raw: Japan's WWII Atrocities Under Fire in Seoul
Raw: Aussie Zoo Shows Off White Rhino Calf
Oklahoma Gov: 'Hearts Are Broken' After Tornado
Raw: Walking in a Flattened Okla. Neighborhood
Horse Saved From Slaughter, Goes on to Win Big
MLB Hoping for Large Replay Expansion in 2014
Obama Pledges Urgent Aid for Tornado Victims
Raw: Suspects Butt Dial 911, Lead to Arrest
Raw: Witness Describes Scene After Okla. Tornado
Pug Life on Display at Wisconsin Festival
VIRAL: Baby makes epic soccer goal
Arias Tells Jury What She'd Do if She Gets Life
The all-new Xbox One
RAW: Massive tornado strikes Oklahoma
VIDEO: Teacher reunites mother and son after tornado levels elementary school in Oklahoma City
Okla. tornado survivor finds dog buried alive under rubble
Jennifer Lawrence Gets Naked and Painted Blue as X-Men's Mystique
Pickler's Dance Moves Cause A Stir
Obama to tornado survivors: The country stands beside you
Reporter Cries Over Devastation
Sneak Peek: 'Modern Family' Says Good Bye
Trailer: 'The Last Stand' Available on Blu-ray Disc, DVD, Digital Download
IWitness Look at Moore, OK Tornado
RAW: Moore, OK tornado touches down near school
Robert Pattinson Moves Out
RAW: Russian dash cam catches car 20 feet in the air
Oklahoma tornado survivor: "Everything is gone"
Khloe Lashes Out at Kim Kardashian's Critics
Couple Argues As Woman's Lover Crawls Out Window
RAW: Brad Paisley Forgets Lyrics To His Own Song
