TERRE HAUTE —
Candlelight shines brightest on the darkest of nights.
“It was a good turnout considering the weather. Amazing,” Cindy McClain said at the conclusion of a ceremony representing an unbroken ring of remembrance that spanned the globe this weekend.
Beginning in New Zealand, just west of the International Date Line, members of Compassionate Friends began lighting candles at 7 p.m. in their time zones, wrapping the world one longitude at a time. The Compassionate Friends of the Wabash Valley lit their candles inside the Unitarian Universalist Church on Fruitridge Avenue at 7 p.m. Sunday while wintry conditions ran rampant outside.
Compassionate Friends, established in 1969, is a support group for families who have lost children.
Now an international organization, it has 650 chapters in America, and 15 nations were to participate in the 14th annual service this weekend.
Beginning shortly after 6 p.m., 25 participants gathered inside the sanctuary to listen to music and selected readings — and to share with one another thoughts about the friends and family members they’ve lost. The program, which was unique to each chapter’s design, featured songs ranging from “Over the Rainbow” to Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven,” which was written after the loss of his own son.
Cathie Laska read from the group’s credo, “We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other with love, with understanding, and with hope. The children we mourn have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for them unites us.”
Bev and John Bitzegaio were among those hugging friends afterward as they attended the service in memory of their son, Kyle, who died at the age of 29 in 2007.
“I’m hoping so,” Bev said with emotion when asked if group-sharing helps the healing process. “We just started doing it. I don’t know what helps,” she said, adding that helping others is often the best method for helping oneself.
Participants lined tables with pictures and keepsakes, and Christine Barton pointed out her son, Tyler Jackson, who died at the age of 21 earlier this June.
“I think Compassionate Friends is a wonderful way for friends to get together that share the same grief,” she said.
McClain’s 20-year-old son, Dylan, died in 2007. Now a chapter leader for Compassionate Friends, she said the organization provides a place for families to go after the funeral and they’re still left with questions.
“You don’t want it to grow, but you want people to have a place to go,” she said of the volunteer group. Many of the group’s members are new to their loss, she said, adding that the absence of children is something some will never fully accept.
Participants whispered the names of the deceased as they extinguished the candles and shared in fellowship afterward. Even as snowy roads were blowing outside, participants agreed that the circle of candlelight would not be broken in Terre Haute.
Contact information for the group can be found on their website, www.compassionatefriends.org.
Brian Boyce can be reached at 812-231-4253 or brian.boyce@tribstar.com.
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