Humans think they can figure out anything.
It’s funny. We analyze and academically research the skills of extraordinary people, who simply taught themselves.
One of America’s greatest musicians, flatpick guitarist Doc Watson, died last week at age 89. Blind since infancy, Watson learned to play on a mail-order guitar he bought through working at his dad’s North Carolina sawmill. Decades later, Watson has thousands — perhaps millions — of pupils worldwide, who practice hour upon hour, longing to replicate his clean, melodic style.
Music technicians and scholars can study Watson endlessly, but in a nutshell, his virtuosity was, in his own words, “just country pickin’.”
The secret to success? Open the heart and play. Again. And again. And again.
A few years ago, I was asked to participate in a “Networking and Etiquette Workshop” at Indiana State University, conducted by the school’s career center. That worthwhile project aimed to teach students skills needed in social settings, such as formal dining and public seminars and meetings. Frankly, though I was recruited as one of several community members serving as random adults the students might encounter in real-world settings, the etiquette instructions enlightened me, too. (I now know it’s better to leave soup in the bottom of the bowl, than to pick it up and drink the last of it.)
A portion of that workshop included how to “correctly shake hands” and “approach people you do not know.” Both abilities are valuable — important enough for the University of Alabama to conduct a study of handshakes and their impact.
Those researchers at ’Bama and the students at ISU should have met Fred Poore.
Like Doc Watson’s guitar playing, Fred Poore greeted people naturally. He did so daily, all around downtown Terre Haute, open-hearted. Again. And again. And again, until his death on May 21 after being injured in a fire at the Garfield Towers apartments, where he lived. Fred was 61 years old, but his spirit was youthful and genuine. As Tribune-Star reporter Lisa Trigg wrote last Sunday, folks who knew Fred described him as autistic, but he lived self-sufficiently, held a job at McDonald’s, rode the city buses, and walked at an energetic pace through downtown.
His trademark, though, was his handshake and an incredible knack for remembering names.
I first met Fred on a bone-chilling January morning more than three years ago. Every Saturday at 8 a.m. at Coffee Grounds, a group of 20 to 30 guys from various churches gather there for Christian fellowship, and a friend asked me to join in. Sitting in groups of four or five around the coffeehouse’s wooden tables, we’d been talking for about 45 minutes, when Fred ambled in the door. Without hesitation, he walked up to each table and shook the hand of every man, before eventually sitting down to listen to the discussion. The regulars got a personal greeting, along with the handshake — “Hi, Tim,” “Hi, Larry,” “Hi, Jim,” “Hi, Steve.” He knew almost every name.
I was instantly amazed. It took me months to memorize barely half of those guys’ names.
Newcomers that morning, such as myself, had to identify ourselves for Fred, but we still got that earnest handshake. The next time Fred crossed our paths, he remembered us.
Business etiquette instructors often say the best handshake is one that is forgotten — a firm grip, but not bone-crunching, quick and not lingering. Yet, I can honestly say I will never forget the image of Fred reaching out to shake my hand and saying, “Hi, Mark.” Why? Because his greetings were completely sincere. He had no agenda. He made everyone he met — everyone, from every walk of life — feel special by knowing their name and shaking their hand.
College workshops and business seminars could guide students and young executives to copy his routine, and they would indeed become more convincing in future opportunities to “network.” As they shake hands and identify themselves, they’ll learn to repeat the other person’s name — increasing the chances of locking it into their memory.
Fred, though, didn’t just memorize names. He remembered the person on the other end of his handshake.
Since his passing, several of Fred’s many friends have suggested that we all could learn a lesson from his good-hearted nature. “He was a reminder of pure, innocent love, every day,” Donetta West, a waitress at Cackleberries restaurant — one of Fred’s favorite places — said in Lisa’s story last Sunday.
Terre Haute should act on those suggestions. Downtown has developed plenty of fun events and activities, all year long, celebrating various forms of music, foods and traditions. Why not add a Fred Poore Day? It could serve as a 24-hour reminder of the importance, and rarity, of friendliness and sincerity, full of handshakes and hellos.
This town should not forget Fred. After all, he worked hard to remember all of us. Again. And again. And again.
Mark Bennett can be reached at (812) 231-4377 or mark.bennett@tribstar.com.
Mark Bennett Opinion
MARK BENNETT: City would be a unique place if everyone greeted others as Fred Poore did
- Mark Bennett Opinion
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Mark Bennett: High-profile mural connects historical dots from city to river
At 96 feet wide and 2 stories tall, the power, impact and value of the Wabash will be evident.
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MARK BENNETT: Life at face value: Mom’s simple advice still presents a valuable daily challenge
Most moms don’t base their advice on scientific research.
(Unless, of course, your mother is a scientific researcher. If so, carry a No. 2 pencil and take good notes.) -
MARK BENNETT: Should I stay or should I go?
Some have their Bill Clinton-era Cavalier packed (with the trunk bungee-ed shut), apartment cleaned (except for the fridge), and iPhone GPS locked onto the fastest route out of Terre Haute. Others are staying — until they find a better job, or because they’re starting a career here, or because this town feels like home. In each case, a new stage of life begins today.
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College Class of '13 gets a little extra advice
Local college grads will hear commencement speakers offer life and career advice this month. We’re offering them an extra dose here from folks who’ve found success in various vocations and regions of the nation. Many have Terre Haute roots.
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MARK BENNETT: Spirited response to a rising river
The power within the Wabash revealed itself last week.
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MARK BENNETT: Littered with irony: Why do people callously discard their trash, and who are they?
Though they aren’t acknowledged by the U.S. Census Bureau, there are basically two demographic groups of people … Those who would dump their old toilet on the banks of the Wabash River or a rural roadside. And those who wouldn’t.
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MARK BENNETT: Performing under the radar: Toiling for years behind the scenes, Terre Haute native J.T. Corenflos finally earned a splash of musical recognition
People who diligently work to make others shine are a rare breed.
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Season of Day 2s arrives
Calendars in Cincinnati contain one extra holiday — Opening Day, traditionally the first Monday in April.
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MARK BENNETT: Amid tragedy and chaos, the hopeful smiles of youth could not be repressed
The image jars the viewer. On its own, the old photograph appears ordinary. Three smiling kids.
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MARK BENNETT: A century later, ‘On the Banks of the Wabash’ still rises above Indiana politics
Music and politics share one commonality — people who like a style different from yours are nuts.
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MARK BENNETT: Digit dialing a thing of the past, but telephoning is still a numbers game
You’ve heard of child prodigies who can play Mozart on piano or perform calculus at the age of 5.
That wasn’t me. -
MARK BENNETT: After years of preparation, 60 immigrants will gather in Terre Haute on March 14 to pledge their allegiance to the United States of America
It will have been a long and difficult road, but it will be an emotional moment when they raise their right hands and begin the oath of citizenship
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MARK BENNETT: The fall and rise of a ‘Young Titan’
Broken. Humiliated. Discarded. Finished.
Few of us think of Winston Churchill in such bleak terms. -
MARK BENNETT: Trying to keep momentum of acceptance within the community a key part of Jeff Lorick’s job
Second-graders’ eyes and minds function differently.
They see the future unjaded. Their possibilities stand tall, not yet choked by the adult weeds of prejudice and bitterness. -
MARK BENNETT: For Glenda Ritz, being educator, ‘not a politician’ still makes good political sense
Educator, not a politician.
Glenda Ritz emphasizes that distinction about herself. -
MARK BENNETT: Falling short of the big prize will produce lessons nonetheless
This is a day for Roman numerals.
Americans seldom use them. And when we do, humility is not our purpose. -
MARK BENNETT: Forgotten Message: Advice from ‘The Mick’ should be remembered in wake of Lance Armstrong’s troubles
The two comments were almost identical.
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MARK BENNETT: A sense of Americana constant passenger as iconic Corvette motors through milestone birthday
On my last ride at the wheel of a ’Vette, I was a wide-eyed teenager, guiding my brother’s almost-new, orange 1976 model.
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MARK BENNETT: Sculptor from North Carolina to capture image of Indiana’s first black state legislator
Well-meaning parents try to instill strong character in their kids.
“Don’t be afraid to stand up for your beliefs,” moms and dads will insist, “even if you stand alone.” -
MARK BENNETT: Heart ailments, avoidable health issues affect high numbers of Vigo residents
Many folks in Vigo County will analyze digits on their bathroom scales this month. After all, January and fitness resolutions are traditional partners.
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MARK BENNETT: For some people in the Wabash Valley, happy holidays require a little help
Picture yourself as a kid, not yet 5 years old, growing up in a small house in Terre Haute.
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MARK BENNETT: Beware Ignorance and Want and reap the benefits of early education
Pretend that Charles Dickens is about to become Indiana’s next governor.
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MARK BENNETT: In spirit of season, calculate your fiscal cliff impact, then argue
Envision “chestnuts roasting on an open fire.”
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MARK BENNETT: Members of Congress should be free to consider all sides of an issue
Attempting to trump the U.S. Constitution requires some nerve.
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MARK BENNETT: An unbudging Congress standing on opposing sides accomplishes little
Sausage patties, hugging a scoop of scrambled eggs and a couple slices of toast on a plate, and chased with nearby steaming black coffee.
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MARK BENNETT: Hoosier voters issue mandate on Bennett’s school reforms
Mike Pence, Mitch Daniels and Indiana legislators should respect the votes of 1,315,026 Hoosiers.
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MARK BENNETT: Elections, governing would look a lot different if everybody voted
A raffle ticket purchase usually comes with a disclaimer — “you must be present to win.”
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MARK BENNETT: On Election Day, as Vigo County goes, so goes the United States
Hempstead sounds like a fine place.
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MARK BENNETT: Upcoming PBS documentary focuses on nation’s voting irregularities, through Hoosier eyes
As America prepares to choose its governmental leaders, voters are being relentlessly asked how much they trust elected officials.
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MARK BENNETT: Quest for knowledge keeps going as Elliott Gould prepares to speak in Terre Haute
As our conversation began, Elliott Gould was in the midst of learning. He was reading a book.
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