Waiting is a lost art.
We expect answers, results and satisfaction with the speed of a Google search. By contrast, waiting requires patience. Patience comes with maturity. Maturity takes time. Which brings us back to waiting. In 21st-century life, that process gets circumvented. Wants can’t wait.
Decades ago, my dad was walking on the white-rock driveway outside our family’s house. He spotted something shiny in the gravel. He moved it with his shoe and then realized what he’d finally found. Dad bent down and picked up his long-lost ruby ring. The discovery overwhelmed him.
My mom gave him the ring before they were married. They’d been high school sweethearts, who grew up in a small Indiana town along the Ohio River. Dad was heading off for training in the South with the U.S. Army Air Corps during World War II. In those uncertain times, he wondered whether she could endure the wait for his return home. She bought the ruby ring, and had the answer to his question inscribed inside its gold band …
I’ll B Waiting 4 U.
She did.
The ring was Mom’s reminder to my dad, yet he also possessed that characteristic — the ability to wait, exhibit patience and develop maturity. It’s emblematic of people who grew up during the Depression. Lord knows, answers did not arrive instantly in the 1930s. The economic collapse did not heal in a few months, or a few years, or by itself. Today, such delay is, obviously, no longer tolerated.
Once the war ended, my parents married, began raising a family of five kids, and moved across Indiana to Terre Haute. Somehow, some way, that ruby ring slipped off Dad’s finger and fell into the driveway. I can picture how it probably happened. We had an old Gravely riding mower — a loud and cantankerous piece of, uh, cutting-edge 1960s lawn-care technology — that needed frequent maintenance. I’m guessing he was tinkering with the mower, kneeling in the grass beside the white rock, and sweating in the hot July sun, when he leaned under the Gravely and the ring slid off.
Now, understand, my father did not keep things for no reason. He discarded anything that wasn’t being used, and regularly hauled unwanted clothes and housewares to Goodwill or the Light House Mission. This man was not a pack rat. If he kept something, it was important.
Losing that ruby ring deeply bothered Dad. He, and Mom, kept looking. For a long time. Patiently.
The day he found it, he walked into the house and, with misty eyes, showed it to Mom.
On Father’s Day, most of the 70.1 million fathers in America wonder whether any qualities they’ve displayed in front of their families will leave a lasting, positive impact. “What will they think of when I’m just a memory?”
I’m fortunate. My dad gave me plenty of good to remember. Playing catch when he was probably tired from long days at work. Letting me be independent and trusting me. Having an infectious sense of humor. Respecting and loving my mom. And being patient — something that anybody who knew him would verify, guaranteed. (I know, I was lucky.)
I was the father of youngsters when Dad passed away. His ruby ring was the main keepsake I received from Mom. It doesn’t sit in a jewelry box, collecting dust (which Dad wouldn’t appreciate). It, and his memory, have been present at virtually every significant moment in the life of my family. I’ve worn it as my wife and I watched our kids go through confirmation at church, and graduations, and when we said goodbye to loved ones.
Earlier this month, as one son married his high school sweetheart, our other son wore Dad’s ruby ring as best-man in the ceremony.
Once again — 70 years after Mom gave it to Dad, promising to be there when he got home — the ring served as a reminder. Some things are worth looking for. Some things are worth waiting for. Some things are worth keeping.
Mark Bennett can be reached at (812) 231-4377 or mark.bennett@tribstar.com.
Mark Bennett B-Sides
MARK BENNETT: Full circle
Dads can still have an impact, even after they’re just a memory
- Mark Bennett B-Sides
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Banks of the Wabash Festival is more than just yearly entertainment
Pioneers think counterintuitively. Where others see widespread apathy, they focus on the possibility for progress. In a way, the 2013 Year of the River celebration began in the 1970s.
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MARK BENNETT: After running for 28 hours straight, what’s another 5 miles?
Some phrases can only be uttered by a few people, or none at all.
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MARK BENNETT: Glitches show limitations of high-stakes testing concept
The dog ate my homework. That age-old excuse — based on a shockingly unforeseen complication — rarely works for a kid who didn’t finish yesterday’s math assignment. Yet, in a role reversal, Indiana school children, along with their teachers and administrators, are left to accept an explanation for a disruption best described as the mother of all ironies.
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MARK BENNETT: One step at a time to save lives
Joan Brown.
Remember that name. -
MARK BENNETT: Sometimes, the mere posing of questions is significant
The era seems quaint now, almost like a fable. When people left their house doors unlocked. When the sight of a police officer in a school meant it was Career Day.
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MARK BENNETT: New reality steers Nashville singer to Crossroads for Historical Society concert
People pass through the Crossroads of America for lots of reasons.
Business trips. College campus events. Federal prison sentences. Visits with relatives. Gas pitstops.
Or maybe a career change and a twist of fate.
Ty Brown makes his first stop in downtown Terre Haute as the headliner of a multi-band Sweet Sensations Country Jam concert May 4 in the Ohio Building — a fundraiser for the Vigo County Historical Society. -
MARK BENNETT: Terre Haute barber ‘sharpens up’ customers for 50 years
People streamed through this section of downtown Terre Haute in those days.
“You could hardly walk by here,” John Hochhalter said, pointing toward the sidewalk outside the window.
The bustle has faded since the early 1960s. Hochhalter remains. He’s still barbering in the same shop he and late business partner Kenny Thomas opened a half-century ago this week. -
MARK BENNETT: Memories, emotions rush back with announcement of new pope
I saw a pope once.Read quickly, that sentence sounds too casual, almost as if we’d crossed paths at Home Depot. Say it slowly, though, and the significance comes through.
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MARK BENNETT: Reflections of grid success stir with Brent Anderson’s passing
A few hundred miles away, and nearly 40 years gone by, a special game ball still occupies a fond place in Rudy Bohinc’s memories.
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Lent meets ‘The Bucket List’ in Terre Haute
Initially, the concept might conjure images of Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman jumping out of an airplane or sitting atop the Pyramids. Instead, think “Lent Meets ‘The Bucket List’ in Terre Haute.”
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MARK BENNETT: Never truer: Knowledge vital to narrowing ‘skills gap’
The pillar at the gates of Faber College in the movie “Animal House” bore a wise motto, despite its tongue-in-cheek intent …
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MARK BENNETT: Great-niece to re-enact Paul Dresser’s musical legacy in Terre Haute show
People can be forgotten. Their lives end, time passes and memories fade.
Often, the only keepers of their legacies are family and friends, who tell and retell their stories, generation to generation.
For Paul Dresser, his fame burned strong enough as a turn-of-the-century, million-seller songwriter to preserve bits of his public notoriety. -
MARK BENNETT: An Olympic takedown
Imagine an iconic image of American sports history erased.
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MARK BENNETT: Indiana’s ‘skills gap’
A problem lasting decades ceases to be a “problem.” By then, the situation becomes “part of the culture.”
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MARK BENNETT: America’s best quality of life? Indiana must address flaws, set priorities
Just as the job interview seems smooth, the interviewer drops the question.
“So, where do you see yourself in five years?” -
MARK BENNETT: Pondering what is meant by ‘quality of life’ to Hoosiers
Sometimes it’s sincere. Other times, it’s sarcasm.
You cross paths with a friend, ask how they’re doing, and they say, “Ah, just livin’ the dream.”
Livin’ the dream. What exactly does that involve? Can it be defined? -
MARK BENNETT: By whatever name, stomach virus still a sick story
It’s the ugly side of the cold-and-flu season.
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MARK BENNETT: Living on the banks
We are the Wabash.
Really. -
MARK BENNETT: Rising young producer lands spot in Sundance Film Festival
When a project clicks, the moment is clear.
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MARK BENNETT: Remember the 20 children lost
Their names were listed on the screen at the front of the church on Sunday.
Our pastor asked us to choose one and pray for their family. I selected Noah Pozner, just by chance. -
MARK BENNETT: Tasting panel to help find Champagne Velvet’s ‘million-dollar flavor’
Rounding up enough volunteers to serve on a committee can be a struggle.
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MARK BENNETT: Thanksgiving’s feast can be defined by either the presence of family or the family’s quest for presents
The best gift deals will be gone by 12:01 a.m. Nov. 23.
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MARK BENNETT: Salvation Army touches many lives
Sometimes, the unexpected happens.
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MARK BENNETT: Election excellence: 30 out of 32 is pretty darn good
Detroit car makers unveil the latest Mustangs and Corvettes on Wabash Avenue.
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MARK BENNETT: Climbing the rungs of Lincoln’s Ladder
One crucial quality helped Abraham Lincoln become America’s greatest president.
Courage? Political savvy? Wisdom? Moral character? -
MARK BENNETT: Drop the needle
Over time, excellence and nostalgia inappropriately merge in our minds.
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No matter the age, voting’s a part of American fabric
The electoral karma seemed, well, unfair.
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MARK BENNETT: A moment on the brink
Ominous, but distant.
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MARK BENNETT: Valley-born filmmaker influenced by roots
Real-life stories inspire Laura Brownson.
Even those vastly unlike her own. -
MARK BENNETT: No debating it: Candidates have it easier than ‘forensics’ specialists
Nightmares can jolt us awake, just before we fall off a cliff or show up for work or school unprepared.
- More Mark Bennett B-Sides Headlines
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Raw: Aftermath of Deadly Attack in London
Texas Students Coach Teachers on Fitness
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Chain-Reaction School Bus Crash Injures About 50
Britain Attack Believed Linked to Radical Islam
Raw: 80-Year-Old Climbs Mount Everest
Wash. State Man Arrested Following Ricin Scare
Meet MJ, the Bike Riding Tabby Cat
Man Shot While Questioned in Boston Probe
New Forecasting Tool Eyed for Hurricane Season
Raw: Kevin Durant Tours Moore After $1M Pledge
Weiner Launches Bid to Become NYC Mayor
Oklahoma Family Reflects on Lost Son
Today in History May 23
School Storm Protection Spotty in Tornado Zones
Moore Native Toby Keith Tours Tornado Damage
9-year-old Tornado Victim Loved Family, Singing
Oklahoma Survivors, Heroes Survey Damage
AK-47-wielding thug may be the most bumbling crook ever
Trout's cycle a boost for Angels
Raw: New Video of Deadly Oklahoma Tornado
Kim Kardashian Flaunts Pregnant Bikini Body in Greece
NBA star pledges $1M to help tornado recovery
Shakira's Shocking Talent
Morgan Freeman falls asleep on air
GRAPHIC: Blood-Soaked Machete Killer Caught on Tape
Elin Nordegren Furious With Lindsey Vonn For Parading Kids in Public
Camera Captures Climber As He Loses Grip And Falls
Helen Mirren Meets with Dying Boy in Queen Elizabeth's Place
Crowd Chants '¡Si, Se Puede!' After Passage of Immigration Bill
DWTS Crowns a Winner
Police Ram House to End Hostage Standoff
Demi Moore a Rocks Bikini at Harry Morton's Family House
Anthony Weiner: I'm running for New York City mayor
Kate Middleton's Dress Flies Up
VIRAL: Baby makes epic soccer goal
The Hangover Baby All Grown Up
