Movie spy Austin Powers once asked, “Who does No. 2 work for?”
Of course, he was dunking one of Dr. Evil’s thugs into a toilet at the time, demanding to know who employed the henchman known as “No. 2.” The guy in the next stall — oblivious to the circumstances — could only mistakenly assume all the noise and Austin’s question centered around gastro-intestinal issues.
Many Americans, in the course of our nation’s 230 years, have probably pondered the same question for far different reasons …
“Who does No. 2 [the vice president of the United States] work for?”
Well, the VP under LBJ (aka HHH, or Hubert Horatio Humphrey) once said, “The president has only 190 million bosses. The vice president has 190 million and one.” The U.S. population has grown since the 1960s, when Humphrey served, so today’s vice presidents must answer to 295 million and one bosses. That’s a pretty big management team.
With the potential for a massive to-do list, don’t our No. 2s deserve a Vice Presidents Day, just like this Monday’s Presidents Day? After all, 96 percent of our VPs have not shot people while in office.
“They’re all pretty solid guys,” said Dan Coen, one of the foremost experts on the 46 men who’ve held the nation’s second-highest office.
Coen tried to illuminate those “solid guys” for the average American in his 2004 book “Second String: Trivia, Facts and Lists About the Vice Presidency and its Vice Presidents.” He also runs an Internet Web site called vicepresidents.com. It’s six years old and non-partisan. And even though it’s packed with trivia, biographies, essays, analysis, historical fun facts and statistics about the people who served as vice presidents as well as those who tried to serve as vice presidents, vicepresidents.com can be kind of a lonely place in cyberspace.
“Unless Dick Cheney shoots somebody or there’s an election, we’re not a busy Web site,” Coen said Tuesday.
While he was speaking by telephone from his office in Los Angeles, Coen’s cell phone was ringing. That’s because Dick Cheney did shoot somebody in a quail hunting accident Saturday afternoon in Texas, hospitalizing 78-year-old Austin lawyer Harry Whittington. Coen already had fielded 20 calls from the press, including mine.
So exactly why does a guy who runs a management consulting business in California and who graduated from San Jose State University with a mass communications degree know so much about the Avis of our government’s executive branch?
“I’ve been a student of history, just like a lot of people,” Coen said.
But do most history buffs know that Cheney isn’t the only sitting VP to shoot somebody? Aaron Burr — the No. 2 guy under Thomas Jefferson — shot and fatally wounded his political archrival, Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton, in a pistol duel July 11, 1804.
“The most fascinating thing is that Burr was never convicted,” Coen said.
Burr and Hamilton “were both pretty crazy guys,” Coen explained.
But Burr was a quirk among vice presidents. Well, except maybe for William King — President Franklin Pierce’s VP — who was “rumored to dress up in women’s clothing,” Coen said.
For the most part, they’ve been solid, quiet types. “And the one commonality among all of them is they’re all politically experienced,” Coen said.
That includes the current guy with 295,001 bosses, Dick Cheney. “In our time period, he’s the most quiet and hidden,” Coen said.
But Cheney is unique, his unintended shotgun blast notwithstanding. He carries political clout within the Bush administration, unlike most of the past VPs.
“Who saw Al Gore as vice president?” said Chris Olsen, chair of the Indiana State University history department and an associate professor. “He was invisible for eight years because [President Bill] Clinton was such a dominating figure.”
And unlike other vice presidents, Cheney comes from the same wing of his party as his president. Usually, presidential candidates pick a dissimilar vice president to balance the ticket and broaden their voter base, rather than choosing someone most qualified to be “a heartbeat from the presidency.” That’s how a John Tyler, a Southerner, ended up as the No. 2 guy on the Whig Party ticket under William Henry Harrison. Most of the Whigs barely acknowledged Tyler, Olsen explained. And yet after they won the election, Harrison wound up dying a month after taking office and Tyler became No. 1.
Tyler is one of nine VPs to assume the presidency because of death or resignation. That tidbit is on vicepresidents.com.
And did you know the only state to produce more VPs than Indiana’s five is New York with 11? Or that the only 20th-century vice president who failed to win his party’s presidential nomination was a Hoosier, Dan Quayle?
Quick … who’s George Clinton. Like me, you probably said, the Godfather of Funk and leader of Parliament, Funkadelic and the P-Funk All-Stars. But actually, another George Clinton was Thomas Jefferson’s second VP. (He dumped Burr, who Jefferson only got paired with because before 1804 the runner-up in Electoral College votes became vice president.)
Come to think of it, funkmaster George Clinton would make an excellent VP candidate in 2008. Imagine, Hillary and George Clinton on the same ticket, with their campaign theme song, “Do Fries Go With That Shake?” A Vice Presidents Day wouldn’t seem so dull then.
Mark Bennett can be reached at mark.bennett@tribstar.com or 1-800-783-8742, Option 6, Ext. 377.
Local & Bistate
B-Sides: Cheney not first sitting VP to shoot somebody
- Local & Bistate
-
-
He never forgot a name: Friends remember victim of fire at Garfield Towers
When Freddie Poore met you, he never forgot you.
-
Hometown boy embraces ‘Promise I Made’: Clinton native Ken Kercheval takes role in Dreams Come True production
Thanks to some help from a hometown boy in Hollywood, “This Promise I Made” is still on track to be kept in Clinton.
-
STATE OF THE STATEHOUSE: Many say they don’t vote in primary because of tag that comes with it
A couple of columns ago, I posed a question about why most Indiana polling places on primary election day had so few customers.
-
Police looking for convenience store robber
Police are seeking a robbery suspect following a Saturday morning armed robbery at the Jiffy MiniMart at 25th Street and Eighth Avenue.
-
Graduation ‘responsibility’: Rose-Hulman stages 134th commencement exercises
Inventor Dean Kamen gave a first-hand demonstration Saturday of how to be an innovator.
-
THE OFF SEASON: To the seniors, one last lecture before you go …
It dawned on me one day last week, as I sat at my desk in my teacher clothes and shoes, a stack of ungraded essays calling to me from a rather tall and depressing pile, that I hadn’t missed a high school graduation in 33 years.
-
Water rescuers
Emergency personnel wheel a man who was removed from a vehicle that had been driven into the water at Crystal Lake on Boston Avenue near 14th Street at about 9 p.m. Friday.
-
For many, camping outdoors is the way to beat the heat, enjoy nature
Stringing up fishing poles in the shade of American flags, households full of Hoosiers are packing into parks across the state this weekend.
-
Towns along National Road readying for next week’s miles-long yard sale
Stretching 824 miles from Baltimore to St. Louis, the National Road — known as U.S. 40 through Indiana — will soon be the host site for perhaps the longest bargain market in the country.
-
Rose grads honoring late president Branam at commencement today
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology’s Class of 2012 will honor the memory of Matt Branam during today’s commencement ceremony by wearing special pins with the phrase “Make It Happen; Make It Fun,” a favorite saying of the former Rose-Hulman president, who died unexpectedly on April 20.
-
Vigo County Jail Log: May 26, 2012
The following individuals were booked into the Vigo County Jail by area law enforcement on Thursday and Friday, based on jail records. Charges are recommended by arresting officers but are not final until the Vigo County prosecutor reviews the case and files official charges.
-
A fallen soldier returns home
An Army carry team moves a transfer case containing the remains of Spc. Arronn D. Fields early Thursday morning at Dover Air Force Base, Del.
-
Official touts trade with northern neighbor
A top Canadian diplomat told a Terre Haute audience Thursday his country was “disappointed” when President Obama at least temporarily rejected a proposed transcontinental oil pipeline from Alberta to Texas.
-
Caution urged for summer’s kickoff
Lane restrictions in construction zones on Interstate 70 and other highways around the state will be lifted to accommodate holiday travel for the Memorial Day Weekend.
-
Letters delivered
Several positions will be eliminated this summer at the Terre Haute mail processing facility as the U.S. Postal Service begins moving the operation to Indianapolis, a U.S. Postal Service spokesman has confirmed.
-
Companies seek Vigo tax abatements
Two Vigo County companies are seeking tax abatements for expansion projects, one of which is included as part of a county incentive package.
-
High-speed chase suspect caught in West Virginia
The suspect in a cross-country, high-speed chase originating in Terre Haute last week was reportedly in federal custody Thursday evening.
-
Second victim of deadly I-70 semi-trailer crash identified
The Vigo County Coroner’s Office has identified the passenger of a semi-tractor crash on May 16 in the eastbound lanes of Interstate 70 near the 12-mile marker.
- VIGO COUNTY JAIL LOG: May 22-24, 2012
-
Burn ban in effect for Vigo County through holiday weekend
Vigo County officials have issued a burn ban effective Thursday and remains in effect until 8 a.m. Tuesday.
-
Brazil remembers a Fallen Son
A small town seemed sadly quiet Wednesday, waiting to honor a local fallen warrior.
-
ISU OKs four-year degree guarantee
Indiana State University has announced a four-year “graduation guarantee” for students enrolling this fall and beyond.
-
Dems tout good side of compromise
Indiana Senate Minority Leader Vi Simpson, chosen to run as the Democratic candidate for lieutenant governor with gubernatorial candidate John Gregg, said during a stop Wednesday in Terre Haute that bipartisan experience is a key factor in creating jobs and legislation to help Hoosiers statewide.
-
Motorcyclist dies, motorist charged after accident
A Terre Haute man has died of injuries he sustained in a two-motorcycle, one-car crash that also injured another motorcyclist late Tuesday. The incident has led to the arrest of the car’s driver.
-
Grant money will help replace Collett Park area tree canopy
A combination of city funds and a state grant is allowing TREES Inc. and the city of Terre Haute to plant 100 trees next year to replace a storm-destroyed street-tree canopy in the Collett Park neighborhood.
-
Schools surpass goal for Riley
The lives of about 5,000 children in Vigo County are touched each year by Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis, and now, the Riley Children’s Foundation has been touched with gratitude by students in the Vigo County School Corp.
-
Historic preservation proposal discussed during open forum
More than three dozen people turned out Wednesday to ask questions about a proposed Terre Haute ordinance that would set up a formal process to preserve historic properties in the city.
-
Banks of the Wabash workers getting festival ready to roll
Concession stands and amusement rides lined the lawn, waiting for a crowd.
-
Search on for Gibault walkaway
The Indiana State Police are seeking help in finding a juvenile who they say walked away from a Vigo County treatment facility Sunday evening.
-
Graduate college in four years? ISU ‘guarantees’ it
Indiana State University has announced a four-year graduation guarantee for students enrolling this fall and beyond.
- More Local & Bistate Headlines
-




