TERRE HAUTE —
My friends, the frequent correspondents, have been sending me outrageous clippings from newspapers in their areas.
Just the other day I received a clipping from the wilds of New Jersey. It seems that “Hopewell Township” (I have no idea where that is and my atlas doesn’t go smaller than counties) has passed a law to keep chickens in their place.
The law requires that a chicken fancier living in the suburbs must dwell on at least five acres of land and even then will be allowed to keep no more than six chickens.
The key word is “chickens” — read “hens.” Apparently it was only the roosters which were found offensive.
Roosters are allowed residence only 10 days a year. Presumably this is a conjugal visit required to fertilize the eggs and keep the chicken population at a steady half dozen. A clause in the law prohibits the roosters from crowing.
Good luck with that! Greeting each morning with a hearty crow is a rooster thing. You can read them the law all you like, but come dawn you are going to have a rooster in full crow. I’ve never heard of muzzling a rooster. Maybe you could cut their vocal cords? How about using duct tape to tape their beaks shut?
The whole thing reminded me of Fletcher, our resident rooster on 23rd Street. No. 1 son had been gifted with several fertile chicken eggs. So, he created a makeshift brooder and one of the eggs hatched — Fletcher. Chickens do make interesting pets and Fletch liked to go out into the yard and hunt insects — chaperoned, of course. He actually lived in the basement.
Enter my cousin who was bedded down in the family room. Come morning, Rua emerged looking wild eyed. “Liz!” quoth she, “I think I’m losing my mind. I keep hearing this chicken!”
I explained Fletcher. As he matured he roosted on the clothes line in the basement and every time a car went up the alley, the lights alerted Fletch who thought it was time to announce the dawn of a new day. Rua didn’t stay a second night.
The only sure way to shut up a rooster is to give him the starring role in a plate of chicken and noodles.
Liz Ciancone is a retired Tribune-Star reporter. Send e-mail to opinion@tribstar.com.
Liz Ciancone
MS TAKES: Roosters as pets are nothing to crow about
- Liz Ciancone
-
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Another beloved dog goes to heaven
We are short one granddog. This past week, “Indy” could no longer use her back legs and she went to that great dog kennel in the hereafter.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Withdrawn society not very social any more
My Best Friend and I went out for lunch the other day. It was a sit-down place with our own “server” (in my day I was called “a waitress”) and everything offering personal attention. The manager even came over to ask if everything was all right.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Technology, new fabrics made ironing much easier
As surely as Tuesday follows Monday on the calendar, ironing day followed wash day on Mom’s housekeeping chart.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Looking back at memories of ‘history’
I was reading a whodunit the other day. The protagonist was trying to solve the mystery of what had happened to a local citizen soldier who had disappeared during the war.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Smell of fresh air gave way to dryers
Remember when clean clothes smelled like fresh air and sunshine rather than fabric softener and dryer sheets?
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Courts see a different appearance than cops
Have you ever noticed the transformation between the arrest of an accused lawbreaker and the first appearance in court?
-
LIZ CIANCONE: We always want more than we need
Washington seems more preoccupied with the unemployment rate than they are about the constant stalemate. Still with thousands out of work and the unemployment rate hovering somewhere between 7 percent and 9 percent, it does deserve more than a passing nod.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Old age is in email of the beholder
My Best Friend isn’t much for writing letters, so email has opened a new world for him. He can dash off a few words to a high school friend or his college roommate — now living in Florida and Washington State,
-
LIZ CIANCONE: A memory test from the oldtime radio days
For some reason, I seem to be the go-to source for all sorts of obscure information out at the Wabash Valley Family Sports Center.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Friskey no doubt was in favor of gun control
I once owned a gun. Actually, it was Dad’s gun and I was allowed to use it. He bought an air gun which shot BB’s to protect our home — in a way.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: A robin stops to welcome the spring
I saw a robin the other morning. It was not the first robin of spring, of course. A few of the more daring robins had opted to spend the winter and, although they looked pretty sorry about it on a few occasions, it was a fairly mild winter.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: The mystery of the small animal mascot
I hope you won’t think I’m picking on small animals, but I’ve been thinking about Easter and the Easter bunny.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Rising up to defend the poor groundhog
I read in the newspaper the other morning that Punxsatawney Phil is being hauled into court and charged with falsely predicting an early spring. I am volunteering my services as counsel for the defense.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Keeping eye out for signs of spring
The problem with expecting a groundhog to predict the arrival of spring is that there are groundhogs scattered all over the country. The Pennsylvania groundhog may not see the same kind of weather as the groundhog out here in Dobbs Park. In this way, false hopes are roused and the groundhog loses credibility as a meteorologist.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Not every other name smells sweet as a rose
It was either Romeo or Juliet who said, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Innocence appreciated when you’re growing up
I grew up rather stupid. I didn’t realize it at the time. Neither did my teachers who seemed to think I had “promise.”
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Years along rivers make them feel like home
I’ve been following plans for celebrating “The Year of the River” with interest. Rivers have played such a role in my life that I’ve celebrated a good many rivers. The Wabash River is merely the most recent example.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: There are always cat stories to be told
I was asked the other day why I write about dogs I have known, but never about cats. “What’s the matter?” they asked, “Don’t you like cats?”
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Sharing the family history
My Grandmother lived with us. Ed and I were eager audiences for her family stories about the Cooks. Mom also shared her memories of growing up with three brothers.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Do we want our privacy or not?
We Americans are a strange bunch. We insist upon our right to privacy, yet we neglect few opportunities to parade our personal business in public.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: The low humor of Mickey Mantis
I’m told that a pun is the lowest form of humor. I guess that typecasts me! I love them, but then, I like any type of word play.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: For now, justice is served in Bball Hall
News this past week brought justice of a sort. The folks who decide these things have declined to pick anyone to be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame this year.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Well, what would you do with only 1 sock?
Let me ask you something.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Movie memories don’t include many of the lengthy variety
There has been lots of reporting lately about how long movies are becoming.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Resist that big ‘let down’ on the day after Christmas
Today is the big day. That makes tomorrow a sort of let down — rather like “What have you done for me lately?”
-
LIZ CIANCONE: No thanks to getting mags delivered via the Internet
I am a creature of habit. I like to know what I’m doing and I need to know how to do it. That’s why I am annoyed when corporate America seems determined to drag me, kicking and screaming into the age of Internet.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Everyone has a favorite holiday
I suppose everyone has a favorite holiday. My guess is that, for most of us, that holiday is Christmas. It's a holiday with a miracle no matter how old we get.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Christmas season puts time back into focus
It’s a funny thing about time. It can speed along so that you cannot believe that your kids can possibly be old enough to have good sense, or it can drag its heels while you wait for that first grandchild or while you are saving up for something really special.
-
LIZ CIANCONE: The bottom line is what drives ‘Black Friday’ sales
Why is it called "Black Friday"?
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Have we lost the meaning of holiday?
I’ve been considering a lost-and-found ad to see if anyone knows what’s happened to Thanksgiving.
- More Liz Ciancone Headlines
-
LIZ CIANCONE: Another beloved dog goes to heaven
Unusual Heat Wave Bakes Alaska
Raw: Car Jumps Curb in NYC, Injures 8
Fans Cheer Dramatic Heat Comeback
Tiger on Sergio: 'It's Time to Move On'
Hunt for Ex-Teamster Boss Hoffa's Remains Ends
Car Crash in NYC's East Village Injures 8
Raw: Massive Protests Fill Brazilian Streets
Ohio Woman Accuses 3 of Holding Her Captive
Raw: NASCAR Driver Jason Leffler Dies in Wreck
Raw: Volcano Erupts Near Mexico City
Obama Renews Call for Nuclear Reductions
Aug. Trial Set for Ohio Man in Triple Kidnapping
Time Lapse: Rebuilding Bridge Post-collapse
Ex-NFL Star Chad Johnson Out of Jail
Raw: Arizona Wildfire Scorches 8 Square Miles
Obama: 'Lives Have Been Saved' by NSA Programs
Failed Cuba-to-Florida Swimmer Won't Try Again
Robot Action Connected to Human Thought
Rain Damages Brazil Soccer Stadium
Today in History June 19
James Gandolfini Dies at Age 51
Paula Deen Admits to Using N Word
Rihanna Hits Fan With Microphone
Men's Wearhouse Founder Fired
Miss Utah Explains Rambling Response
Exclusive: Locklear & Seymour Lock Lips
Miami Heat Wins in Overtime
Fists, chairs fly in restaurant brawl
Journalist Michael Hastings Dies in Fiery Hollywood Crash
Hairy Leg Stockings Aim to Deflect Male Attention
Inside Kim Kardashian's Premature Labor
Three Charged for Enslaving Mother and Daughter
Raw: Huge Fire Near Yosemite National Park
Spurs' Popovich has no problem with Spurs' intensity
RAW: NSA Director Says 50 Plots Foiled
Paige Butcher Scorches on Hawaii Beach
Video: worst way to load cargo onto a plane
Never-before-seen footage of '08 Times Square bomber
