TERRE HAUTE —
I am a year older than I was at this same time last week. Do I mind? Nope!
If I wake up in the morning, pinch myself and it hurts, I know I am good to go — at least for the day and, hopefully, well into the future. I don’t deny that I am slowing down, but life is too interesting to pack it in. Most little aches and pains can be eliminated with an aspirin. Those that cannot, I simply ignore.
My Best Friend and I have developed a quibble as we notch another year in the steering wheel of life. We are not exactly unwilling to reveal our age, but we “cleverly” reveal it by knocking off quite a few years and then claiming to be dyslectic. This works well since a lot of folks have to juggle the information long enough for us to slip away. Those who tumble immediately probably deserve to know that we are long past the age of consent.
The dyslectic bit works well as long as the numbers in the right-hand column are smaller than those in the left-hand column. This happens with increasing frequency. We have been unable to figure out how to fudge when the numbers are the same. I dread becoming age 99 as there is nowhere to go from there except a double zero followed by a one, and there is no one alive who would believe that for a minute. But then, way back when I was 21 no one would believe I was 12.
There is another disadvantage. Even when the numbers knock years off your actual age, you age in 10-year increments. If you could get away with claiming to be 26 when you are actually 62, you are stuck the following year with pretending to be 27 and you can see where THAT is going.
I did discover a bit which brought me a smirk of pleasure. I read that Marilyn Monroe was born the same year I was. I never achieved her fame and certainly never approached her beauty. On the other hand, one marriage has held up in my life while she darted from one husband to another — reportedly between love affairs.
I’m not sure whether I had a few months head start before Marilyn entered the world, or maybe she spotted me a couple of months. Either way, I have never envied Marilyn nor aspired to be like her. Truth be told, I felt rather sorry for her.
I can still feel a pinch in the morning, still get up and enjoy the day and — right now at any rate — look forward to seeing leaves on the trees and flowers by the roadside again.
Eat your heart out, Marilyn — wherever you are.
Liz Ciancone is a retired Tribune-Star reporter. Send e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org.
TERRE HAUTE —
I am a year older than I was at this same time last week. Do I mind? Nope!
- Liz Ciancone
LIZ CIANCONE: Smell of fresh air gave way to dryers
Remember when clean clothes smelled like fresh air and sunshine rather than fabric softener and dryer sheets?
LIZ CIANCONE: Courts see a different appearance than cops
Have you ever noticed the transformation between the arrest of an accused lawbreaker and the first appearance in court?
LIZ CIANCONE: We always want more than we need
Washington seems more preoccupied with the unemployment rate than they are about the constant stalemate. Still with thousands out of work and the unemployment rate hovering somewhere between 7 percent and 9 percent, it does deserve more than a passing nod.
LIZ CIANCONE: Old age is in email of the beholder
My Best Friend isn’t much for writing letters, so email has opened a new world for him. He can dash off a few words to a high school friend or his college roommate — now living in Florida and Washington State,
LIZ CIANCONE: A memory test from the oldtime radio days
For some reason, I seem to be the go-to source for all sorts of obscure information out at the Wabash Valley Family Sports Center.
LIZ CIANCONE: Friskey no doubt was in favor of gun control
I once owned a gun. Actually, it was Dad’s gun and I was allowed to use it. He bought an air gun which shot BB’s to protect our home — in a way.
LIZ CIANCONE: A robin stops to welcome the spring
I saw a robin the other morning. It was not the first robin of spring, of course. A few of the more daring robins had opted to spend the winter and, although they looked pretty sorry about it on a few occasions, it was a fairly mild winter.
LIZ CIANCONE: The mystery of the small animal mascot
I hope you won’t think I’m picking on small animals, but I’ve been thinking about Easter and the Easter bunny.
LIZ CIANCONE: Rising up to defend the poor groundhog
I read in the newspaper the other morning that Punxsatawney Phil is being hauled into court and charged with falsely predicting an early spring. I am volunteering my services as counsel for the defense.
LIZ CIANCONE: Keeping eye out for signs of spring
The problem with expecting a groundhog to predict the arrival of spring is that there are groundhogs scattered all over the country. The Pennsylvania groundhog may not see the same kind of weather as the groundhog out here in Dobbs Park. In this way, false hopes are roused and the groundhog loses credibility as a meteorologist.
LIZ CIANCONE: Not every other name smells sweet as a rose
It was either Romeo or Juliet who said, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
LIZ CIANCONE: Innocence appreciated when you’re growing up
I grew up rather stupid. I didn’t realize it at the time. Neither did my teachers who seemed to think I had “promise.”
LIZ CIANCONE: Years along rivers make them feel like home
I’ve been following plans for celebrating “The Year of the River” with interest. Rivers have played such a role in my life that I’ve celebrated a good many rivers. The Wabash River is merely the most recent example.
LIZ CIANCONE: There are always cat stories to be told
I was asked the other day why I write about dogs I have known, but never about cats. “What’s the matter?” they asked, “Don’t you like cats?”
LIZ CIANCONE: Sharing the family history
My Grandmother lived with us. Ed and I were eager audiences for her family stories about the Cooks. Mom also shared her memories of growing up with three brothers.
LIZ CIANCONE: Do we want our privacy or not?
We Americans are a strange bunch. We insist upon our right to privacy, yet we neglect few opportunities to parade our personal business in public.
LIZ CIANCONE: The low humor of Mickey Mantis
I’m told that a pun is the lowest form of humor. I guess that typecasts me! I love them, but then, I like any type of word play.
LIZ CIANCONE: For now, justice is served in Bball Hall
News this past week brought justice of a sort. The folks who decide these things have declined to pick anyone to be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame this year.
LIZ CIANCONE: Well, what would you do with only 1 sock?
Let me ask you something.
LIZ CIANCONE: Movie memories don’t include many of the lengthy variety
There has been lots of reporting lately about how long movies are becoming.
LIZ CIANCONE: Resist that big ‘let down’ on the day after Christmas
Today is the big day. That makes tomorrow a sort of let down — rather like “What have you done for me lately?”
LIZ CIANCONE: No thanks to getting mags delivered via the Internet
I am a creature of habit. I like to know what I’m doing and I need to know how to do it. That’s why I am annoyed when corporate America seems determined to drag me, kicking and screaming into the age of Internet.
LIZ CIANCONE: Everyone has a favorite holiday
I suppose everyone has a favorite holiday. My guess is that, for most of us, that holiday is Christmas. It's a holiday with a miracle no matter how old we get.
LIZ CIANCONE: Christmas season puts time back into focus
It’s a funny thing about time. It can speed along so that you cannot believe that your kids can possibly be old enough to have good sense, or it can drag its heels while you wait for that first grandchild or while you are saving up for something really special.
LIZ CIANCONE: The bottom line is what drives ‘Black Friday’ sales
Why is it called "Black Friday"?
LIZ CIANCONE: Have we lost the meaning of holiday?
I’ve been considering a lost-and-found ad to see if anyone knows what’s happened to Thanksgiving.
LIZ CIANCONE: Magic is always there with live theater
I’m a pushover for live theater. But movies? Not so much. For me it’s like the difference between canned peas and those picked fresh from the garden. Movies even COME in cans.
LIZ CIANCONE: Maybe the Cubs will win it all next year
I was relieved to have the World Series ending before the snow flies. Heck, it didn’t even last into November this year.
LIZ CIANCONE: Holiday decorating better when personal, simple
I fear that I am becoming an old poop!
LIZ CIANCONE: Surprises from mail worth the extra penny
I understand that the cost of pursuing my hobby will be going up by a penny come the year 2013.
- More Liz Ciancone Headlines
- LIZ CIANCONE: Smell of fresh air gave way to dryers