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April 12, 2011

MS. TAKES: Keeping the post office in business

Liz Ciancone Special to the Tribune-Star The Tribune Star Tue Apr 12, 2011, 05:00 AM EDT

TERRE HAUTE — I think I may be in the running for pin-up girl for the U.S. Postal Service.

I trust this does not mean that I will be wanted in 48 contiguous states — as well as Alaska and Hawaii — but rather that I am being lauded for my continuing contribution to keeping mail service a bit less deep in red ink.

I know I am smiled upon by postal clerks when I buy lots and lots of stamps. I write a lot of letters and am convinced that there is nothing to compare with a personal letter — sent with 44 cents postage. It stands alone in the face of e-mail, Facebook, texting, Twitter or blogs. If this means I’m guilty of something criminal, I don’t think I could outrun the feds.

I do write letters, snail mail if you prefer, and my correspondents respond via snail mail. I figure that as a group we are good for about eight letters a week, or something like $3.52 a week in profit for the post office. This doesn’t count another half-dozen occasional correspondence. Of course delivery charges must be figured in, but I have to believe that the steady income must be appreciated.

I figure it doesn’t cost less to mail and deliver all of the appeals for donations received by the dozens every week — most of which are sent for less than 44 cents. A couple a week or so ago were mailed to me at 8 cents each. Of course, the appeal enclosed an envelope so I would find it convenient to return a check, but they did not use the 8-cent stamp so it would cost me 44 cents to send a pittance. I didn’t bother.

And don’t get me started on catalogs! I cannot imagine the forest which have been denuded to supply the paper to send me catalogs. It must be a state secret how much it costs to mail a catalog, but they are a lot heavier than my letters. If cost to mail was based on weight it might save enough for the post office to treat the delivery person for back spasms incurred by the weight.

I don’t expect a return to the 3-cent stamp, and the old “penny postcard” is only a vague and highly collectible memory. Costs do go up. I get anxious when the Postmaster General goes, hat-in-hand, to Congress pleading for an increase in postage. I won’t quit writing letters, but it would be nice to get some sort of award for faithfulness.

So if you happen to see my picture in the post office, let’s hope it doesn’t say “WANTED” in big, bold letters.



Liz Ciancone is a retired Tribune-Star reporter. Send e-mail to opinion@tribstar.com.

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Copyright 2013 News From Terre Haute, Indiana. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Liz Ciancone

• LIZ CIANCONE: Courts see a different appearance than cops

  Have you ever noticed the transformation between the arrest of an accused lawbreaker and the first appearance in court?

  May 14, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: We always want more than we need

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  May 7, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Old age is in email of the beholder

  My Best Friend isn’t much for writing letters, so email has opened a new world for him. He can dash off a few words to a high school friend or his college roommate — now living in Florida and Washington State,

  April 30, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: A memory test from the oldtime radio days

  For some reason, I seem to be the go-to source for all sorts of obscure information out at the Wabash Valley Family Sports Center.

  April 23, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Friskey no doubt was in favor of gun control

  I once owned a gun. Actually, it was Dad’s gun and I was allowed to use it. He bought an air gun which shot BB’s to protect our home — in a way.

  April 16, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: A robin stops to welcome the spring

  I saw a robin the other morning. It was not the first robin of spring, of course. A few of the more daring robins had opted to spend the winter and, although they looked pretty sorry about it on a few occasions, it was a fairly mild winter.

  April 9, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: The mystery of the small animal mascot

  I hope you won’t think I’m picking on small animals, but I’ve been thinking about Easter and the Easter bunny.

  April 2, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Rising up to defend the poor groundhog

  I read in the newspaper the other morning that Punxsatawney Phil is being hauled into court and charged with falsely predicting an early spring. I am volunteering my services as counsel for the defense.

  March 26, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Keeping eye out for signs of spring

  The problem with expecting a groundhog to predict the arrival of spring is that there are groundhogs scattered all over the country. The Pennsylvania groundhog may not see the same kind of weather as the groundhog out here in Dobbs Park. In this way, false hopes are roused and the groundhog loses credibility as a meteorologist.

  March 19, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Not every other name smells sweet as a rose

  It was either Romeo or Juliet who said, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

  March 12, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Innocence appreciated when you’re growing up

  I grew up rather stupid. I didn’t realize it at the time. Neither did my teachers who seemed to think I had “promise.”

  March 5, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Years along rivers make them feel like home

  I’ve been following plans for celebrating “The Year of the River” with interest. Rivers have played such a role in my life that I’ve celebrated a good many rivers. The Wabash River is merely the most recent example.

  February 19, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: There are always cat stories to be told

  I was asked the other day why I write about dogs I have known, but never about cats. “What’s the matter?” they asked, “Don’t you like cats?”

  February 12, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Sharing the family history

  My Grandmother lived with us. Ed and I were eager audiences for her family stories about the Cooks. Mom also shared her memories of growing up with three brothers.

  February 5, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Do we want our privacy or not?

  We Americans are a strange bunch. We insist upon our right to privacy, yet we neglect few opportunities to parade our personal business in public.

  January 29, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: The low humor of Mickey Mantis

  I’m told that a pun is the lowest form of humor. I guess that typecasts me! I love them, but then, I like any type of word play.

  January 22, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: For now, justice is served in Bball Hall

  News this past week brought justice of a sort. The folks who decide these things have declined to pick anyone to be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame this year.

  January 15, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Well, what would you do with only 1 sock?

  Let me ask you something.

  January 8, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Movie memories don’t include many of the lengthy variety

  There has been lots of reporting lately about how long movies are becoming.

  January 1, 2013  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Resist that big ‘let down’ on the day after Christmas

  Today is the big day. That makes tomorrow a sort of let down — rather like “What have you done for me lately?”

  December 25, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: No thanks to getting mags delivered via the Internet

  I am a creature of habit. I like to know what I’m doing and I need to know how to do it. That’s why I am annoyed when corporate America seems determined to drag me, kicking and screaming into the age of Internet.

  December 18, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Everyone has a favorite holiday

  I suppose everyone has a favorite holiday. My guess is that, for most of us, that holiday is Christmas. It's a holiday with a miracle no matter how old we get.

  December 15, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Christmas season puts time back into focus

  It’s a funny thing about time. It can speed along so that you cannot believe that your kids can possibly be old enough to have good sense, or it can drag its heels while you wait for that first grandchild or while you are saving up for something really special.

  December 4, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: The bottom line is what drives ‘Black Friday’ sales

  Why is it called "Black Friday"?

  November 27, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Have we lost the meaning of holiday?

  I’ve been considering a lost-and-found ad to see if anyone knows what’s happened to Thanksgiving.

  November 20, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Magic is always there with live theater

  I’m a pushover for live theater. But movies? Not so much. For me it’s like the difference between canned peas and those picked fresh from the garden. Movies even COME in cans.

  November 13, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Maybe the Cubs will win it all next year

  I was relieved to have the World Series ending before the snow flies. Heck, it didn’t even last into November this year.

  November 6, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Holiday decorating better when personal, simple

  I fear that I am becoming an old poop!

  October 30, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: Surprises from mail worth the extra penny

  I understand that the cost of pursuing my hobby will be going up by a penny come the year 2013.

  October 23, 2012  

• LIZ CIANCONE: No pet costumes for this Halloween

  Ed and I were old enough to know better, but we got our laughs in a rather cruel way. We caused Lady, the family collie, a lot of chagrin by dressing her up in “people clothes.”

  October 16, 2012  

• More Liz Ciancone Headlines

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