TERRE HAUTE — If I look a little bit bigger to you since the Ameys returned late last week from their Gatlinburg vacation, it could be a consequence of the southern Tennessee cuisine, whose three basic food groups appear to be pancakes, barbecue and fudge.
Or it could be the steroids.
Yes, I’m currently the midst of my self-imposed 25-game suspension from major league baseball, but at least for a good reason. If you were awakened at about 4:30 a.m. on April 1, in fact, it could have been from my screams of agony — I’m sure they could have carried the 500 miles from there to here.
I started having back spasms a day earlier, and they made me a real joy to be with while taking the kids to the aquarium that afternoon. But some swimming pool time seemed to clear them up a little bit, and I was even able to do a few stretches before going to bed.
Getting out of bed the next day, however, was not so easy (and not
nearly as quiet).
I finally accomplished that task by lying on my stomach and slithering to the edge of the bed, and spent the next eight or nine hours in a chair while Jenny searched valiantly for medical facilities (a trip to the bathroom required about an hour of planning and a considerable amount of screaming and swearing). But although it took her two trips — one to set up the appointment, the other to get me there — she found the Pigeon Forge Medical Clinic, and Wes the nurse and Dr. Tim got me the steroid shot and the pills. By the next day I was ready for the rides at Dollywood.
But if that injury made me the April Fool (Jenny and the kids would probably tell you that wasn’t the only time), the rest of the vacation was pretty cool — although Dolly was tied up with American Idol and unable to baby-sit. Here are some highlights.
• Arrival — The last 100 yards of any long trip seem to be the hardest, which means that once again next spring the kids will get in the car to depart and say, “Dad, are we going to get lost again this year?”
I’d never been to Gatlinburg, and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. What I discovered — before we even got lost — was kind of a cross between the Covered Bridge Festival and Las Vegas, with a little bit of Orlando mixed in. Even Dolly admits it’s kind of tacky in spots (please tell me I don’t have to identify Dolly for you; would I have to identify Mickey in Orlando?), and there’s no shortage of neon.
Our accommodations were first-rate once we found them, however, with a gorgeous mountain view (lots of gorgeous mountain views down there, of course) and a rushing stream outside our window loud enough to confuse with a cloudburst. I think it’s also the first place I’ve visited where the packet of information you find in the room included this command: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, FEED THE BEARS!
• First day — Our place was advertised as being within walking distance of the downtown attractions, so we tested that theory. Leisurely late pancake breakfast, a stop at Mr. Tablecloth (Jenny’s choice, of course) — and the discovery that downtown is closer getting there (downhill) than back to the hotel (uphill). Drove to Pigeon Forge for supper at the Old Mill, built in 1830 and still grinding — church-supper food, and enough leftovers to keep our refrigerator full for the rest of the week.
• Second day — Lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, kind of a pricey chain; I thought it was pretty good, Jenny not so enthusiastic. More leftovers, and I’ve got to quit sitting between Darcy and JoJo and finishing their stuff. Ryan had a cheeseburger.
Spent the afternoon driving through Great Smoky Mountains National Park, including the loop through the abandoned Cade’s Cove settlement. Saw herds and herds of deer, but no bears yet.
• Third day — Lunch at Bennett’s Barbecue, where I had pork shoulder (very good) and fried okra (not a favorite yet) and Jenny had a BLFGT (bacon, lettuce, fried green tomato). The kids got root beer floats, and Ryan had a cheeseburger.
Took the Gatlinburg Trolley around town to get to and from Ripley’s Aquarium (not huge, but has a walkway under the main tank that lets you experience fish — and lots and lots of sharks — from all sides). I’m learning that if you order a salad at a fast-food restaurant here, they look at you funny.
• Fourth day — Got through it thanks to John Olsen’s book and an immense amount of help and patience from the kids and Jenny. Plus the steroids, of course. Naturally this was also the day with the nicest weather while we were there.
• Fifth day — But the weather on April 2 wasn’t bad either, so it was off to Dollywood. Wasn’t sure what to expect there either, but it’s now in the argument for best theme park yet.
The rides were ones the kids (and Jenny or I, on the ones where JoJo was too short to go without an adult) could enjoy, and we didn’t even get to the big coasters for Ryan. JoJo certainly did enjoy them; she’d get off each one screaming, “That was rad! That was awesome!” and was actually trash talking on the merry-go-round. Darcy is the carnival queen, and wound up winning enough stuff that she even gave a guitar to JoJo (although it’s pink, not JoJo’s favorite color).
Ryan got radical and had a hot dog instead of a cheeseburger, but the country-themed concessions included ham and beans (Jenny’s choice) and homemade ice cream (mine).
And while Jenny was having her ham and beans, the kids and I got in line for one of the Dolly-themed shows, which led to Jenny’s favorite part of the day. We’d told the usher (and banjo player, it turned out) that she’d be joining us, and when she got there he asked her, “Are you with two little girls and an old man? One of those girls is really wired up.
“The girls are pretty cute, but I can’t say much for the old man.”
Had supper at the Lineberger Seafood Company, a pretty elegant chain by most standards and incredibly elegant for Gatlinburg. Enjoyed both the swordfish (my dinner) and stuffed flounder (the rest of Jenny’s).
• Last day — One more walking trip around town for me and the kids to see the Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum, the wax museum and the Hollywood cars while Jenny started organizing the packing for the trip home. Then finished off the last night with the horses, the pig races, the ostrich races and another obscene amount of food at Dolly’s Dixie Stampede dinner show.
Never did see a bear, but saw something just as surprising. While watching Arena Football on one of the southern sports channels, I saw that Doug Kay is the head coach of the Columbus Destroyers. That’s the same Doug Kay who was Jerry Huntsman’s defensive coordinator during my days at Indiana State, so I guess you’d call him a veteran of the coaching wars.
Andy Amey can be reached after 4 p.m. for comments or news items at 1-800-783-8742 or at (812) 231-4277; by e-mail at andy.amey@tribstar.com; by mail at P.O. Box 149, Terre Haute, IN, 47808; or by fax at (812) 231-4321.
Amey Takes Aim
Amey Takes Aim: Delicious food, steroids and fun at Dollywood
- Amey Takes Aim
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Amey Takes Aim: NHL playoffs to put TVs to good use
If Jenny had known, she probably wouldn’t have bought that TV.
But four or five years ago, my Fathers Day present — for those unfamiliar with Amey family traditions, the Fathers Day one is “let’s get something we all really want and pretend it’s a gift for Dad” — was a 42-inch Vizio. It’s been used even more than the cell phone I never would have bought for myself, or the TomTom that disappeared since Jenny’s smartphone arrived.
And it came with high-def.
I’m not going to insult you by telling you how great high-def is, because to do so would be to imply that you are even farther behind the technological curve than I am. I’m guessing, however, that not all of you have yet discovered what it does for hockey. -
Amey Takes Aim: Can’t bottle the joy of Amey vacations
The first bad sign was the Gatorade bottle.
In the Bataan-Death-March drive to Orlando that got the Amey family spring break vacation off to a bad start, seeing it between lanes of I-24 — as we zipped along at a 100-miles-in-five-hours clip — filled with an ominous yellow liquid was a little bit scary. And although we didn't stop to check for sure, I'm fairly certain I knew about its contents.
And the person stuck in the same traffic jam with us, the one with the existential license plate YMIHR4, couldn’t have asked a more pertinent question.
But, after seeing a lot more of Oak Grove, Ky., than we’d planned, and after enduring more traffic slowdowns in Nashville, we were on our way. Even some rain in the dark in the Smokies didn’t slow us down much, so you would think our first-day troubles were over.
You would be wrong. -
ANDY AMEY: Farewell to basketball
I believe you’ve heard me say before — just about a year ago, perhaps — that a boys high school basketball season that ends with the Tribune-Star in Bankers Life Fieldhouse can’t be considered a bad one, which is why we have a little celebrating to do thanks to the Linton Miners.
Lover of irony that I am, I’ve also got to point out that this season was another branch sprouting from the Wabash Valley’s most legendary coaching tree, that of Joe Hart.
Joe never got much credit for his work at Dugger, but he took Brody Boyd, Clark Golish and the Bulldogs to a state championship game in 2000, and since then three of his former players — Joe Pigg, Clint Swan and now Joey Hart, his son — also have coached teams in the final game of the season.
Joe probably wishes he could take credit for Doc Nash, another down-home type who gave a banjo lesson earlier Saturday in leading Borden past a bigger, more athletic Triton team (banjo lesson is a Howard Sharpism, for you younger readers), but his lineage is still the best I can think of around here. -
AMEY TAKES AIM: Maroons, Rox final a true Classic
I don’t make predictions nearly as often as I used to, but I had one several months ago that was proven correct last week.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Nitpicking aside, West Vigo Hall of Fame selections spot on
I can’t imagine a better first class of inductees into the West Vigo High School Athletics Hall of Fame than the one that was feted Saturday night in the Jim Mann Green Dome.
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Tough bunch of people
I’m getting my warm clothes ready for a trip to Linton this week, and if a few thrills from the Miners, Casey or North Vermillion happen the next couple of weeks, I hope I get to see them.
But high school football is over in Vigo County for the season — as coach Chris Barrett of Terre Haute North said, prematurely — and I’m sadder to see it go than usual.
Walking the sidelines and doing midweek or postgame interviews enables me to meet quite a few of the guys whose names you are about to read, and haven’t been more impressed than I was this fall. What outstanding groups of young men. What a tough, tough bunch of people.
Many know that one of my favorite athletic adjectives appeared consecutively in the previous sentence. -
AMEY TAKES AIM: A weekend to remember with ISU’s ’72 football team
They’re all still pretty hale and hearty, the boys of the fall of 1972 who returned to campus over the weekend to honor their former football coach.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: ISU reunion raises more questions than answers
One of the wrestlers I used to hang out with occasionally claimed to be a pretty good second-story man — although he may have just been talking, since I never saw any of the goods — and it was with him in mind that I was able to get access to the Indiana State Wrestling Alumni Reunion late Saturday night.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Deciding not to ‘vacate’ during ‘vacation’ – & other ventures
Flaunting the law, setting a bad example for the kids in other ways, grooming and acquiring dogs … not a typical Amey family vacation, but an appreciated one just the same.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Huntsville’s Stars, Havoc take back seat to GGS
The second-best thing about the Amey family’s spring-break trip to Huntsville, Ala., is that we left a lot of things on the table to do the next time we’re down there.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Rox well represented on Amey teams
If having the state finals in town makes it a successful girls high school basketball season, then certainly having a team to follow at the state finals makes it a very successful boys high school basketball season . . .
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AMEY TAKES AIM: A feeling of pride, not disappointment, comes from watching Rox play
It’s not going to come as a startling admission that I — once the rest of the local opposition has been eliminated from consideration — am an unabashed fan of whatever team the Wabash Valley sends onward in postseason high school sports competition.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: This private school plays basketball the right way
Any girls high school basketball season that ends with state championship games in Hulman Center is a pretty good one — even though I wished I’d seen Riverton Parke and Seeger knock off a couple of private schools the week before to even the public school-private school battle a little bit.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Even 2 of state’s best once had doubts
Look at them now.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Getting ready for the dance
Terre Haute North got the good news Sunday night — or did it?
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Harrowing path for state hopefuls
The bad news is that the winner of Class 4A Sectional 13 in boys basketball heads northeast instead of southeast for regional play in March — to Hinkle Fieldhouse instead of Seymour as a result of Indiana High School Athletic Association’s changes.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: A superior all-star arrangement
I don’t work on Wednesdays, so I wasn’t able to attend the first Wabash Valley Football Coaches Association draft last week to set up the annual all-star game that will be June 23 this year.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: The biggest & baddest of a holiday classic
There are more things to love about the Pizza Hut Wabash Valley Classic than could fit in this newspaper, but one of this year’s best things was that for an hour or so on Wednesday, it was Justin Paddock’s world and we were just living in it.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Taking note of ISU’s latest football win
The biggest difference I’ve noticed, as I transition from the high school football beat to quasi-official status as the Indiana State football beat writer for a few weeks, is the length of the games.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: IHSAA playoff draw not as bad as it could have been
First reaction to the Indiana sectional football pairings drawn late Sunday by the Indiana High School Athletic Association? It could have been a lot worse.
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ANDY AMEY: Between the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame & a hard place
Just in case any of you noticed — with some anticipation — the recent lack of my bylines, I can tell you that your wish (and mine) did come true. It was vacation week for the Amey family.
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Amey Takes Aim: UFC fighter’s bloodines traced back to ISU brothers
As a mild-mannered reporter from a great metropolitan newspaper — or thereabouts — I admit I haven’t paid much attention to the burgeoning mixed martial arts scene.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Predators’ win is music to new fan’s ears
For many, many years, the number of live games televised on WGN has been cited as perhaps the main reason for the popularity of the Chicago Cubs (it’s got to be something besides masochism, right?).
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AMEY TAKES AIM: You’ll be having a good ol’ time on vacation with the Ameys
When one of the first people you meet is Tammy Wynette’s stepdaughter, when you’ve stepped on the feet of people you haven’t met while trying to navigate Ernest Tubbs’ old Silver Eagle tour bus, and when the activities director of your resort is, well, Elvis, you might be vacationing in Nashville.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: The Annual All-Amey basketball teams close out the prep season
The most encouraging boys high school basketball event I’ve attended so far in 2011 has been the Lafayette Semistate a couple of weeks ago.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Family remembers Cheryl Weatherman as caring grandmother
As far as Riley and Keely Davis are concerned, Cheryl Weatherman was simply their grandmother, and a pretty darn good one at that.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Honor to see Turkey Run girls close out memorable career
I don’t know if anyone in this part of the state could actually say they enjoy going to Fort Wayne and back, but I was glad to see the Turkey Run Warriors play one last time during the girls basketball state finals Saturday.
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So many matches, so many favorites
Go ahead, ask me anything about the 224 wrestlers who competed last week at the Indiana state finals — or at least about the 112 wrestlers who survived Saturday’s first round.
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ANDY TAKES AIM: A sportwriters’s lament: Oh, the games we missed
I was already tired of winter by the time that first bitterly cold snap passed through in mid-December, so it’s safe to say the season hasn’t grown on me.
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AMEY TAKES AIM: Time of the season for teams to tough it out
In the last month or so I figure I’ve seen at least four boys high school basketball teams with legitimate state-championship dreams as the season heads into its dog days.
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