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December 3, 2008

Holiday gift giving for the sharper mind

By Doug Herrmann The Tribune Star Wed Dec 03, 2008, 11:12 PM EST

TERRE HAUTE — This year, more than most years, gift giving during the holidays is going to be especially challenging. Gift-giving this year will require more accurate remembering and more problems solving than in previous years. Before you decide on gifts for your family and friends, you will need to determine just who you really want to give a gift this year.

Once you have developed a list of those who you will give gifts to, you need to determine how much you can afford to pay for each gift you would like to give. Therefore this column first considers how to remember who you gave gifts last year. Second, to be sure your list is complete, we will also consider how to remember what gifts you were given last year; an accurate list of gifts will remind you of everyone who might be worthy of a gift from you. Third, we will examine how to pay for the gifts that you would like to give this year.

Remembering who gave you a gift last year

Many people find it difficult to remember who gave them a gift last year, or at least it is difficult to remember everyone who gave them gifts. Some people find it difficult even though they only received a few gifts. Even if only a few people gave you a gift, it sometimes is easy to confuse who gave you gifts last year with who gave you gifts in a previous year.

It was suggested in this column about a year ago that readers make a list of everyone who gave them a gift during last year's holidays.

Everyone that took this advice and made such a list should now raise your right or left hand.

I thought so.

In the absence of a list from last year, you still can try to recall the givers off the top of your head. Review in your mind the names of family members, other relatives, and friends who may have given you a gift. If you are unsure about the names of possible givers, ask your significant other to try to recall who gave you a gift last year. Write all of these names down promptly because you will most likely forget some of them in the next 10 minutes.

If you work in an office, don't worry about who gave a gift at the office party. Hardly anyone remembers everyone who attended the party, let alone who gave what to whom. For one reason or another, office parties are not well-remembered.

Remembering what gifts you were given last year

To make sure that you can identify everyone who gave you a gift, it helps to remember what gifts you were given. The name of a gift will likely remind you of who gave it. However, it is difficult sometimes to remember precisely the gifts we have received. It is not that those of us who forget gifts given last year are insensitive. Even if you were given only a couple gifts, it is easy to confuse what gifts you were given last year with gifts you received in a previous year. Some things are hard to remember.

It was suggested in a Sharper Mind column about a year ago that readers should make a list of everything you were given during last year's holidays. If you took that advice and made such a list, please raise your right or left hand.

Again, I thought so.

If you do not have list from last year, recall the gifts you received then as accurately as possible. If you have trouble remembering all of your gifts, ask your significant other about what gifts you received. (Except don't ask significant others what they gave you. Doing so could cause you a lot of trouble. They will regard their gift as unforgettable even if it was not).

If you work in an office, don't worry about recalling what gifts you received at the office party. Hardly anyone remembers what he or she received at the office party for the same reason people are hesitant to try recalling every person who was at the party.

Determine how much to spend on gifts this year

If you do everything possible to make the most complete list ever made, you will next have to decide whether all of them deserve a gift. You might not want to give a gift to someone you are angry with. But, come on, this is the season for 'forgiving' (or is that 'for giving'?). Alternatively, you may add someone to your list, someone who has been having a hard time and deserves some kindness.

Once you decide who is worthy of a gift from you, then you will have to figure out how to pay for all of the gifts. At this point you may wonder why you tried so hard to make such a complete list. Forgetting who gave you gifts is cheaper than remembering them.

For most people this year, it will be challenging to buy gifts because of one's budget. In addition, this year it will probably be necessary to also consider the budget of those whom you are thinking of giving a gift. For example, if you have a friend who has had financial problems, you will want to consider carefully the cost of gift to give. You will not want to give a gift that exceeds your friend's ability to buy you a gift. Otherwise, an expensive gift from you may humble your friend. Alternatively, if your friend will not be humbled by a generous gift, you may want to give such a gift. If this case applies, I hope that I have friends like you.

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