TERRE HAUTE — We often hear that it is important to be normal. Certainly we prefer to have a normal body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure. However, we probably prefer not to be normal on some occasions. I am not saying we should prefer to be abnormal, but we want to be distinguished for something, to know something or do something better than others.
Many people say that they want an exceptional memory. They wish that they would not forget anything. But we all do forget (I don’t want to disillusion anyone but even some memory experts forget sometimes). So, some amount of forgetting is normal but just how much? This column reviews how much forgetting is normal for three categories of memory tasks: forgetting of names; facts about our past or about knowledge; and chores.
Forgetting Names. What is normal when it comes to forgetting names? It is normal for everyone is to forget the names of others. (Exceptions include politicians and people in sales who must remember names because their livelihood depends on accurately remembering who people are). Consider what we say when we cannot recall someone’s name or, worse yet, when we recall the wrong name.
Suppose we bump into a person on the street and we say “Hi Jack.” Suppose further that this person says, “I’m not Jack.” When this happens, most of us will say “Oh I am sorry, I am terrible with names.” And nearly everyone is — terrible with names.
Names escape us for many reasons. We forget the names of people whom we have met just once and whom we did not expect to encounter again. However, familiar names can also escape us. For example, people sometimes forget the names of others whom they know well (such as from work, from church or temple, or from a club or social group) when they encounter them in a different context (such as at a shopping center or a restaurant).
Once in a rare while we may recall the wrong name of people we know extremely well, such as a spouse or significant other. People make this mistake when they are extremely tired or distracted by something, such as a kiss. Regardless of the reason, this kind of forgetting can lead to anger that lasts for quite a long time.
Many people say that a person’s name is the most beautiful sound in the world to him or her. So some people think it is good to recall someone’s name frequently in a conversation. If someone forgets a person’s name, it is often regarded as an insult.
However, it is possible to get on the wrong side of a person by recalling the person’s name too much. ”It is great to see you today Sally. So how are you feeling today, Sally? You know Sally, we should get together soon.” Using a person’s name in three sentences in a row is just too much.
If someone uses another person’s name too frequently, whoever says the name will be suspected of trying to get on this person’s good side for some ulterior motive. Some experts on social interaction suggest that we certainly need to recall a person’s name accurately but we should not do so too often. These experts recommend using the person’s name enough in order that it is clear that other people are sure that we know who they are but not so often that other person thinks we are trying to butter them up for some reason. So, remembering a name requires both a good memory but also some discretion.
Forgetting Past Events and Knowledge
Many people like to talk about their childhood. But if the truth were told, no one remembers much of his or her early childhood. In fact, about half of all people do not remember any events of their lives prior to the age of 4 1/2. Some people have difficulty remembering much of their childhood before the age of 7 or 8. So, forgetting early years of our lives is normal. As we enter the golden years of our lives, it becomes normal to remember events from earlier in life than from later in life.
Just as all people forget some events from their past, everyone also forgets facts or information. We forget much of the knowledge acquired in school — except that knowledge we use in work and daily life (such as how to write and basic arithmetic). It is practical to forget a lot of the knowledge we pick up after school because some of it becomes obsolete.
Life today requires a person to know a lot about current events. However, the half-life of a lot of current events is short. The names of popular politicians and rock groups change every few years. Advice about what is good for us to eat seems to change every so often and many of our laws change (such as the speed limit on Interstate 70). Consequently, it is practical to let ourselves forget facts. That is why there is a game called Trivial Pursuit; the facts recalled for the game are ones that have become of little use. Forgetting knowledge is, therefore, normal.
Forgetting to do things
Everyone forgets to take the garbage out. There are numerous little memory chores that we also forget, such as where we put our keys, wallet, purse and briefcase. Unfortunately, when we forget to do some things, others get upset. We sometimes forget to call someone as promised. We may forget to go to an appointment that is important to someone else.
Conclusion: The next time you are caught forgetting something or remembering something incorrectly, just say, “Give me a break. It is normal to forget, you forget sometimes also.”
A Sharper Mind
July 4, 2007
A Sharper Mind: Some amount of forgetting is normal, but just how much?
- A Sharper Mind
-
- A Shaper Mind: A review of Sharper Mind columns Don’t worry. Just because I am providing a review in this column, it doesn’t mean I am going to give an exam afterward. I just want to go over some of the most important ideas discussed in this column previously. The reason that I am doing this is because this is my last column. I admit that I just could not remember any topic that had not been examined here.
- Holiday gift giving for the sharper mind This year, more than most years, gift giving during the holidays is going to be especially challenging. Gift-giving this year will require more accurate remembering and more problems solving than in previous years.
- The pros and cons of cell phones This column will, first, review why cell phones have a positive effect on our mind. Subsequently, we will consider the dangerous consequences of talking on a cell phone while driving and then the very dangerous consequences of text-messaging on a cell phone while driving,
- Activities of daily living that depend on memory Everyone forgets something that they are supposed to do in everyday life. They may have known what they should do for a long time or for after a minute or so. This column examines the role of memory in some common activities in one’s day.
- Why names and appointments are difficult to remember Everyone has weaknesses. Mine is popcorn and more popcorn. We also have weaknesses when it comes to memory. I don’t know your memory weaknesses and I don’t care to share mine. But I can tell you the memory weaknesses that most of us say we have.
- Consider thinking training It is possible to buy products that are supposed to improve one’s mind? Last month’s column discussed products that aim at improving a person’s memory. As promised, this month’s column reviews products (such as courses, books, tapes, CDs, and CD ROMS) that are aimed at improving a person’s ability to think.
- A Sharper Mind: The science behind commercial methods of mind improvement It is possible to buy products that are supposed to improve one’s mind. Most of these products aim at improving a person’s memory but many products aim at improving a person’s ability to think. This month’s column reviews products that are supposed to improve a person’s memory. Next month’s column will review products intended to improve a person’s thinking ability.
- Candidates, superdelegates not lying, just forgetful Recently, some presidential candidates have apparently forgotten something that others expected them to remember. Also some superdelegates have switched allegiance from one candidate to the other, revealing that they forgot the candidate they originally favored.
- The advantages and disadvantages of memorists Every family has one. Every group of friends has one, too: a person who tends to remember almost everything that is going on. This person knows all about upcoming events (concerts, lectures), what is at the movies, and what’s on TV. Sometimes, this person even knows what is going on among family members, friends and acquaintances. Accurate gossip is a valuable commodity.
- Drake sweeps ISU softball Friday, but Saturday's game called off Indiana State’s softball team played 19 games before ever stepping foot on the Price Field diamond Friday for a doubleheader against Drake. The homecoming wasn’t a happy one — Drake swept ISU with 5-1 and 6-2 victories — but the long-term concern is on the mound, where star pitcher Darcy Wood is battling a shoulder injury.
- Completing a medical history form at a doctor’s office These days, when you visit a doctor’s office for the first time, you are given a form on which you are supposed to record important facts about your medical history. Unfortunately, these forms ask for considerable information, much of which few human beings can recall. More unfortunate yet is that different doctors use different forms. Consequently, we are required to fill out medical history forms calling for essentially the same information all over again for each new doctor.
- Owls may get the credit for being wise, but you should want an elephant’s mind Just to be clear at the outset, this column does not endorse or reject the symbol of a political party. Also, the column has nothing to do with a rock group called Elephant Memory that Yoko Ono and John Lennon promoted in the early 1970s. Instead, the topic of this column is the memory of real live elephants.
- Sometimes we fail to remember something and feel guilty Some people regard memory as an open or shut case. We either remember or don’t remember.
- A Sharper Mind: Benefiting from each others memory failures We all are forgetful occasionally and leave something of ours behind in public places such as stores, shopping centers, and at the homes of family, friends and acquaintances. For example, we may forget to take with us things like a pair of gloves, an umbrella, a scarf or a jacket. Because we are all in this world together, we should forgive each other's memory failures.
- Don’t let others profit from your memory failures We all are forgetful on occasion. Some of us are more forgetful than others. If our forgetting inconveniences someone else, we hope that they will not be angry and will forgive our lapse. However, in addition to the possible anger or forgiving, there is another way someone might respond to our memory failure.
- A Sharper Mind: Learning how to get a bright idea In the past, this column has discussed the factors that facilitate problem solving and critical thinking. For example, such factors include understanding a problem in the first place, ignoring solutions tried previously, avoiding being fixated on a solution to a similar problem and by overloading one’s brain.
- A Sharper Mind: Reminiscences of meals past Much of our lives are spent eating. As a result, we have many memories of breakfast, lunch or dinner, as well as for in between snacks. Sometimes we may want to remember what we ate on a certain occasion. This column considers what is the best way to recover the memory of what was eaten.
- A Sharper Mind: Some amount of forgetting is normal, but just how much? We often hear that it is important to be normal. Certainly we prefer to have a normal body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure. However, we probably prefer not to be normal on some occasions. I am not saying we should prefer to be abnormal, but we want to be distinguished for something, to know something or do something better than others.
- A Sharper Mind: How to not look stupid (at least some of the time) I do not mean to suggest that you or I look stupid a lot of the time.
- A Sharper Mind: Politics of remembering and the intelligencia of Indiana Part of this column will be devoted to an announcement. Another part will be devoted to my claim that Hautians are among the brightest people on the planet. Finally I will discuss a public demonstration of how important remembering can be in everyday life.
- A Sharper Mind: Forgetting names is most annoying but we aren’t raised to remember Here is a topic that we haven’t covered for quite a while. It hasn’t been covered because there were so many other things to discuss. Nevertheless, it probably will be beneficial for most of us to review the key ideas about how to learn names.
- A Sharper Mind: Finally enough failures for Forgetting Hall of Fame III A few months back, this column honored noteworthy memory failures in the Forgetting Halls of Fame I and II. It looks like these Halls of Fame have been very helpful to readers because very few failures have been happening to the people around me.
- A Sharper Mind: Is it nature or nurture? Why memory differs for men, women Here is a topic that most people find interesting: the memory performance of men and women. I will review the results of a great deal of research about gender differences in memory in this column. The research indicates that women are superior at some memory tasks and men are superior at other memory tasks. Some of the results are not surprising; some are surprising. Regardless of how the results come out, there is one overriding question. Do men and women differ in memory performance because of differences in genetic ability or because of differences in how males and females are raised and treated as adults in our culture?
- A Sharper Mind: Changing of seasons makes for forgetful time of year Ah yes, spring is upon us. This is the time that our thoughts stray to — whatever. As wonderful as spring may be, we actually are especially vulnerable to forgetting when this season arrives. Each season we become accustomed to the season’s typical temperature and season’s typical appearance of the sky. When the environment changes unexpectedly, we lose environmental cues that remind us of things to do.
- A Sharper Mind: Consider the effort we give to thinking about our problems There is a famous statue of a nude person sitting with his head looking down, with his jaw resting on the fist of the right forearm, which rests on the person’s right knee. The sculptor, a Frenchman named Auguste Rodin, called this sculpture “the thinker.”
- A Sharper Mind: Memory performs up to cultural expectations People in different cultures vary in what memory tasks they are good at. A culture refers to a group of people who share beliefs and habits of communication. The workplace is made up of different cultures, management, skilled workers and unskilled workers. Each family has its own culture. Everyone belongs to one or more cultures.
- A Sharper Mind: Brilliant ideas more elusive, likely to be forgotten Some of our thoughts elude us because they pass through our mind so quickly that we cannot remember them later. For this article, we are concerned with just important elusive thoughts. These are thoughts about brilliant ideas we may want to act on or about ideas that are practically useful, such as for something we need to do.
- A Sharper Mind: Mental dictionary, spell check provide sharp language tools This column considers how sharp we are when it comes to language.
- Herrmann: Creativity: Something for all, no matter what you think Creativity is admired whenever it is noticed. We may recognize a new invention as creative.
- A Sharper Mind: As matter of courtesy, don’t be caught faking memory Courtesy is more than knowing what fork to use and when.
- More A Sharper Mind Headlines
Raw Video: NATO Protesters Face-off With Police
Mary Kennedy Mourned at Private Funeral in NY
Raw Video: Demonstrations Ahead of NATO Summit
Prosecutors: Trio Planned to Attack Obama's HQ
Obama Pushes for Post-2014 Vision for Afghanista
G-8 Seeks Unity on Euro-debt Crisis, Iran
NATO Chief: 'No Rush for Exits' in Afghanistan.
Libyan Convicted in Lockerbie Bombing Is Dead
Blind Chinese Activist Arrives in NY
Video Surfaces of Alleged Abuse at Kansas School
Raw Video: Powerful Quake in Northern Italy
G-8 Leaders Hope Greece Remains in Eurozone
Violence in Aleppo, Rastan Amid Observer Warning
Raw Video: Demonstrators Protest NATO
Police: 3 Face Terror Charges Ahead of NATO
Raw Video: Will Smith Slaps Kissing Reporter
Raw Video: G8 Leaders Gather for Class Photo
Raw Video: Obama Greets Leaders at Camp David
SpaceX President: 'This Is Not Failure'
Big Job: G-8 Tackles Euro Crisis
'Ring of Fire' solar eclipse as seen from Japan
ET's Last Interview with Robin Gibb
Magnitude 6.0 Earthquake Slams Italy
Wiig's Emotional SNL Sendoff
Bloodied anti-NATO protester
Bee Gees Singer Robin Gibb Dies
Facebook Founder Ties the Knot
Heat even up series with Pacers
The Dictator Overthrows Elisabetta
Anarchists Arrested at NATO Summit in Chicago
Transgender Beauty Rocks Bikini
Raw Video: Will Smith Slaps Journalist
Spurs rally, take 3-0 lead
Protesters in front of Emanuel's house
John Edwards trial: Main points jurors may be mulling
Facebook IPO underwhelms
Kate Middleton's Two Thousand Dollar Dress
Man Who Fathered 30 Kids Asks Judge for Child Support Break
Sebelius Heckled During Georgetown Speech
