I do not mean to suggest that you or I look stupid a lot of the time. But I think we can agree that we all can look stupid sometimes (at least I do). Some of the time we look stupid because of a memory failure. This column reviews three ways our memory makes us look stupid and then discusses what to do about it when this happens. This column does not consider other ways we can look stupid which is the reason that this column addresses how we look stupid “some of the time.”
One way our memory makes us look stupid is when we totally block out on what we want to remember. A second way is to remember something else instead of what we want to remember. The third way happens when we remember incorrectly and do not know it. This column considers how to salvage these memory failures.
These three ways of looking stupid are not just a matter of remembering names. We can look stupid when we try to remember facts or when we try to remember something that occurred in the past or when we try to remember something we were supposed to do or when we try to remember how to do something that we once knew how to do. To illustrate how we make it appear that we are not stupid after all, we will use names as an example but know that we can correct memory errors in a similar manner when we try to remember the other kinds of memory.
Memory blocks
One way we look stupid is to simply block out what we want to remember, such as someone’s name. When we block out something we just cannot remember anything about it. A block is an awful experience. It is anguishing when you stand in front of other people and they know you, but you don’t remember their name.
There are a few ways to overcome a block. One way to retrieve the blocked memory is to use the tip of the tongue method. Guess how many letters are in the person’s name. Then guess what letter the name begins or ends with, and guess whether there are any unusual letters in the word. If that doesn’t revive the memory, use the alphabet method; literally say each letter of the alphabet and consider whether the name began with that letter. Sometimes it helps to give your mind a rest. When you do so, the mind may make the name emerge into your ongoing thoughts.
Getting stuck
Sometimes when we try to remember something, we think of something else instead of what we want to remember. We remember the wrong name but we suspect we are wrong. However we try to remember that right name, the wrong name pops in our head.
Getting stuck on what probably is the wrong memory is frustrating and very irritating. Getting stuck leads some people to say something profane (appalling isn’t it). When a possibly wrong member gets stuck in our consciousness, it is good to calm oneself because the one thing we don’t want to do is to say the name that is stuck in our mind.
The tip of the tongue technique and the alphabet technique are hard to use while the problematic name is stuck in the center of consciousness. One way to get the mind back on track is to try to remember experiences that the stuck name reminds you of. If the name is truly incorrect, you will have a hard time thinking of experiences or you will think of experiences that have nothing to do with the person whose name you want to remember. On the other hand, if the name is correct, the experiences you remember will seem to go with this name.
We remember incorrectly
When we recall someone’s name incorrectly, we do not realize we made a mistake. That is, we do not realize our mistake unless someone tells us. When someone does point out our mistake, we feel embarrassed and stupid. Sometimes we get that feeling in the pit of our stomach or we may feel something is stuck in our throat. Messing up someone’s name usually makes us feel uncomfortable.
The only way out of this situation is tact. First, say something like “how stupid of me. I knew that.” Don’t say “how stupid of me. I think I knew that.” An obvious lack of confidence tells the other person that you really don’t remember their name.
Don’t blame your inability to remember on someone else. For example, don’t say “how stupid of me. If you hadn’t hassled me, I would have remembered your name right in the first place.” Unfortunately, blaming the failure on someone else is another indication that we did not know the name in the first place.
Your mistake might be excused if you attribute your memory failure to sensory problems. You may claim that your poor vision interferes with ability to remember what you see. However, if you use this as an excuse, you will have to bump into things while that person is present - to verify your visual weakness.
A more plausible excuse is that your mind was elsewhere. Tell this person that you are undergoing upsetting personal problems, which has made you very absentminded. If you use this excuse, tell your significant other the excuse you used so that he or she does not blow your cover. Perhaps it is better just to say that you are preoccupied with problems at work or with some hobby such as your coin collection.
A Sharper Mind
May 2, 2007
A Sharper Mind: How to not look stupid (at least some of the time)
- A Sharper Mind
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- A Shaper Mind: A review of Sharper Mind columns Don’t worry. Just because I am providing a review in this column, it doesn’t mean I am going to give an exam afterward. I just want to go over some of the most important ideas discussed in this column previously. The reason that I am doing this is because this is my last column. I admit that I just could not remember any topic that had not been examined here.
- Holiday gift giving for the sharper mind This year, more than most years, gift giving during the holidays is going to be especially challenging. Gift-giving this year will require more accurate remembering and more problems solving than in previous years.
- The pros and cons of cell phones This column will, first, review why cell phones have a positive effect on our mind. Subsequently, we will consider the dangerous consequences of talking on a cell phone while driving and then the very dangerous consequences of text-messaging on a cell phone while driving,
- Activities of daily living that depend on memory Everyone forgets something that they are supposed to do in everyday life. They may have known what they should do for a long time or for after a minute or so. This column examines the role of memory in some common activities in one’s day.
- Why names and appointments are difficult to remember Everyone has weaknesses. Mine is popcorn and more popcorn. We also have weaknesses when it comes to memory. I don’t know your memory weaknesses and I don’t care to share mine. But I can tell you the memory weaknesses that most of us say we have.
- Consider thinking training It is possible to buy products that are supposed to improve one’s mind? Last month’s column discussed products that aim at improving a person’s memory. As promised, this month’s column reviews products (such as courses, books, tapes, CDs, and CD ROMS) that are aimed at improving a person’s ability to think.
- A Sharper Mind: The science behind commercial methods of mind improvement It is possible to buy products that are supposed to improve one’s mind. Most of these products aim at improving a person’s memory but many products aim at improving a person’s ability to think. This month’s column reviews products that are supposed to improve a person’s memory. Next month’s column will review products intended to improve a person’s thinking ability.
- Candidates, superdelegates not lying, just forgetful Recently, some presidential candidates have apparently forgotten something that others expected them to remember. Also some superdelegates have switched allegiance from one candidate to the other, revealing that they forgot the candidate they originally favored.
- The advantages and disadvantages of memorists Every family has one. Every group of friends has one, too: a person who tends to remember almost everything that is going on. This person knows all about upcoming events (concerts, lectures), what is at the movies, and what’s on TV. Sometimes, this person even knows what is going on among family members, friends and acquaintances. Accurate gossip is a valuable commodity.
- Drake sweeps ISU softball Friday, but Saturday's game called off Indiana State’s softball team played 19 games before ever stepping foot on the Price Field diamond Friday for a doubleheader against Drake. The homecoming wasn’t a happy one — Drake swept ISU with 5-1 and 6-2 victories — but the long-term concern is on the mound, where star pitcher Darcy Wood is battling a shoulder injury.
- Completing a medical history form at a doctor’s office These days, when you visit a doctor’s office for the first time, you are given a form on which you are supposed to record important facts about your medical history. Unfortunately, these forms ask for considerable information, much of which few human beings can recall. More unfortunate yet is that different doctors use different forms. Consequently, we are required to fill out medical history forms calling for essentially the same information all over again for each new doctor.
- Owls may get the credit for being wise, but you should want an elephant’s mind Just to be clear at the outset, this column does not endorse or reject the symbol of a political party. Also, the column has nothing to do with a rock group called Elephant Memory that Yoko Ono and John Lennon promoted in the early 1970s. Instead, the topic of this column is the memory of real live elephants.
- Sometimes we fail to remember something and feel guilty Some people regard memory as an open or shut case. We either remember or don’t remember.
- A Sharper Mind: Benefiting from each others memory failures We all are forgetful occasionally and leave something of ours behind in public places such as stores, shopping centers, and at the homes of family, friends and acquaintances. For example, we may forget to take with us things like a pair of gloves, an umbrella, a scarf or a jacket. Because we are all in this world together, we should forgive each other's memory failures.
- Don’t let others profit from your memory failures We all are forgetful on occasion. Some of us are more forgetful than others. If our forgetting inconveniences someone else, we hope that they will not be angry and will forgive our lapse. However, in addition to the possible anger or forgiving, there is another way someone might respond to our memory failure.
- A Sharper Mind: Learning how to get a bright idea In the past, this column has discussed the factors that facilitate problem solving and critical thinking. For example, such factors include understanding a problem in the first place, ignoring solutions tried previously, avoiding being fixated on a solution to a similar problem and by overloading one’s brain.
- A Sharper Mind: Reminiscences of meals past Much of our lives are spent eating. As a result, we have many memories of breakfast, lunch or dinner, as well as for in between snacks. Sometimes we may want to remember what we ate on a certain occasion. This column considers what is the best way to recover the memory of what was eaten.
- A Sharper Mind: Some amount of forgetting is normal, but just how much? We often hear that it is important to be normal. Certainly we prefer to have a normal body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure. However, we probably prefer not to be normal on some occasions. I am not saying we should prefer to be abnormal, but we want to be distinguished for something, to know something or do something better than others.
- A Sharper Mind: How to not look stupid (at least some of the time) I do not mean to suggest that you or I look stupid a lot of the time.
- A Sharper Mind: Politics of remembering and the intelligencia of Indiana Part of this column will be devoted to an announcement. Another part will be devoted to my claim that Hautians are among the brightest people on the planet. Finally I will discuss a public demonstration of how important remembering can be in everyday life.
- A Sharper Mind: Forgetting names is most annoying but we aren’t raised to remember Here is a topic that we haven’t covered for quite a while. It hasn’t been covered because there were so many other things to discuss. Nevertheless, it probably will be beneficial for most of us to review the key ideas about how to learn names.
- A Sharper Mind: Finally enough failures for Forgetting Hall of Fame III A few months back, this column honored noteworthy memory failures in the Forgetting Halls of Fame I and II. It looks like these Halls of Fame have been very helpful to readers because very few failures have been happening to the people around me.
- A Sharper Mind: Is it nature or nurture? Why memory differs for men, women Here is a topic that most people find interesting: the memory performance of men and women. I will review the results of a great deal of research about gender differences in memory in this column. The research indicates that women are superior at some memory tasks and men are superior at other memory tasks. Some of the results are not surprising; some are surprising. Regardless of how the results come out, there is one overriding question. Do men and women differ in memory performance because of differences in genetic ability or because of differences in how males and females are raised and treated as adults in our culture?
- A Sharper Mind: Changing of seasons makes for forgetful time of year Ah yes, spring is upon us. This is the time that our thoughts stray to — whatever. As wonderful as spring may be, we actually are especially vulnerable to forgetting when this season arrives. Each season we become accustomed to the season’s typical temperature and season’s typical appearance of the sky. When the environment changes unexpectedly, we lose environmental cues that remind us of things to do.
- A Sharper Mind: Consider the effort we give to thinking about our problems There is a famous statue of a nude person sitting with his head looking down, with his jaw resting on the fist of the right forearm, which rests on the person’s right knee. The sculptor, a Frenchman named Auguste Rodin, called this sculpture “the thinker.”
- A Sharper Mind: Memory performs up to cultural expectations People in different cultures vary in what memory tasks they are good at. A culture refers to a group of people who share beliefs and habits of communication. The workplace is made up of different cultures, management, skilled workers and unskilled workers. Each family has its own culture. Everyone belongs to one or more cultures.
- A Sharper Mind: Brilliant ideas more elusive, likely to be forgotten Some of our thoughts elude us because they pass through our mind so quickly that we cannot remember them later. For this article, we are concerned with just important elusive thoughts. These are thoughts about brilliant ideas we may want to act on or about ideas that are practically useful, such as for something we need to do.
- A Sharper Mind: Mental dictionary, spell check provide sharp language tools This column considers how sharp we are when it comes to language.
- Herrmann: Creativity: Something for all, no matter what you think Creativity is admired whenever it is noticed. We may recognize a new invention as creative.
- A Sharper Mind: As matter of courtesy, don’t be caught faking memory Courtesy is more than knowing what fork to use and when.
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